Intention to Kill
by Koiame
Summary: Duo's hardships begin, his life after all the wars have ended, or have they? Will Shinigami return? Will Heero and Duo ever be together?
1. Chapter 1

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: Okay, my first official gundam fic. Wonder what will happen... Oh, and I don't own gundam wing and all that other legal crap. Oh, and just to warn you, this fic isn't for the weak minded, or people who get sick over blood, death, violence, all the naughty dirty stuff that should probably be rated NC-17, and bla-bla-bla... etc. Well, enjoy if you dare... *okay, that was totally lame but... we can't win them all... wait, I did it again; I'll shut up now and let u read.

**Warning:** This fanfic will contain explicit material that should not be read if you are under 18 or have a sensitive constitution. Read at your own risk. It is boy/boy. Will contain self-injury, non-con, explicit language, sex, and violence. This warning applies to every chapter of this story. Thank you.

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**Chapter 1**

**-Duo's POV-**

The smell of blood, alcohol, and sweat is not something you want to wake up to. I still can't get used to it, especially after fighting last night. Assassinations always take so much outta me. I rose from my bed easily enough. I didn't get to actually sleep under the covers. My body started to rebel after I began walking. Each step seemed to take its toll. The small apartment was badly lit and it was very dark and dreary, needless to tell. I yawned as I wrenched the handle of the fridge open.

"Damn, can't see anything!" I cursed at the dark void that was the fridge.

Mental note; get a bulb for the damn thing. My hand grabbed something out of the dark hole.

"Orange Juice?" I questioned my breakfast. "Oh well."

I gulped some down, stopping after a signal got to my brain courtesy my sense of taste that made me spit the contents out.

"What the… this is _disgusting_!" I kicked the door of the fridge closed and tossed the carton in the garbage.

I walked over to the bathroom and flicked on the switch, light pouring into the darkness. I looked at my hands after walking to the sink; blood clung to the creases and calluses of my fleshy murder weapons. Such a sad thought; how much blood have my hands been stained with? I washed my hands from last night's work. I went back out, sat down in a chair, and flicked the TV 'On'. Nothing… Nothing… and more nothing. You'd think there'd be at least... Oh, wait… the news.

_There has been a report of another assassination last night. Secretary of Foreign Affairs, Goshi Yanata was assassinated last night while out for a walk. It is speculated that the police are following up on two current leads, but all government officials are being strongly cautioned not to speak publicly on this matter. Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian was only able to comment this, "Whoever is involved in these heinous acts of aggression will be caught. I have personally sent agents to take care of this matter." That was all that Ms. Dorlian commented in the news conference that was held today at…_

Click. My thumb rested on the off button. '_They haven't been able to catch me._' My lips twisted into a satisfied grin. '_Wonder why the hell my employer wants them dead anyway. Heh, even Relina's in on this. Guess I'm getting them really pissed off._'

'_Oh well, it's not like I didn't expect this type of reaction._' I yawned and got up slowly. Guess I'd better get some real food, oh… and pick up my paycheck later tonight! I grabbed my jacket off of the table and went to the kitchen drawer. Got my gun, a few extra rounds, my knife, and some other goodies just in case. I grabbed the key and left; down the hall, past the guard with a cheery 'hello', and cruised through the door into the cloudy world of reality. '_My hair is probably a mess… oh well._' I made my way through crowds of people, wandering around here and there, passing tons of stores as I went. A horde of shoppers is the best place to be when trying to avoid contact with anyone; all the pushing and shoving. Not quite mash-pit but still a perfect place to be when you're an assassin.

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**Author**: That's all for now. Hope you liked. Please read and review! Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: Hey, I haven't introduced myself... Erm... call me Koiame if you wish... Anyways, I not exactly sure what I'm gonna have happen... the plot is there but, I may add some sub-plot stuff... anyways, read, enjoy, and review...

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**Chapter 2**

**-Duo's POV-**

'_I really don't want to be seen on any security cameras, damn. Where the heck am I gonna eat?_' I put my hood up and tried to not look anyone in the face, not that anyone ever took time to look at me. '_Where the heck to eat..._' I walked over to a phone booth. '_Eh, the phonebook isn't even chained down... guess these people here aren't concerned with protecting things; fuck they're so blind. Guess with the war's end, people have gained some false security... God, I sound like a shrink._' I opened the huge book and thumbed my way to about the end of the first quarter of the thing. 25 pounds of paper... Next assassination I think I'll just drop this thing from a two story building onto the person... got one... I ripped the page out and put the huge weight back in its place. '_It's only a block or two away, I should be there in no time._' I walked down the street until the crowds thinned little by little and the conditions of the buildings were slowly going down. Finally the road seemed to die at a dead end and my eyes fell onto a shabby, run down looking place. I pushed open the wooden door.

"Heh... needs some paint." I commented to myself with a slight smile.

I walked in and sat down at a dust old table. Some guys entertained themselves with arm wrestling and fighting with one another. Oh, and there was 'entertainment' provided. I ordered a couple shots of Bacardi and some specialty lunch, I couldn't quite make the words out through the red stuff. I watched a little bit of what was going on. _No_... not the entertainment... But the huge drunk idiots fighting with each other; laughing and drinking and yelling in slurred voices. Wufei would give them a dirty look if he was here. I smiled large as I thought of Wufei facing eying the strippers with disgust and I barely stopped myself from letting the Bacardi shoot out my nose.

I snickered at my thoughts once more before accepting my food order. Whatever it was came in a bowl, was kinda greenish, no... maybe brown. '_I can't _see_... why is there a shadow over it?_' I gazed up from forensically analyzing my meal to discover the source of my light problem; a huge guy was standing over my food looking at me with death glares. '_I bet his name is Bubba._'

"Could you please move." I asked cheerily and smiled wide.

The dumb ass got in my face and looked at me like he wanted to stab me a thousand times and throw my body in a trash can.

"Were you _laughing_ at me?" He menaced.

"No, I was just laughing to myself. If I'd have known that there were there were guys like you here that're so sensitive, I would've been more considerate. Now can you move; I can't see what I'm eating..." I chimed; the conflict elevating my mood.

The big guy was getting angrier by the second. '_Go ahead._' I hid a smirk; my achievement in passive-aggressiveness would _surely_ bear rewards. Suddenly, he grabbed my shirt and lifted me out of my seat by it into the air.

"You think you're funny, don't you pansy..." He shouted angrily at me, his eyes bloodshot.

'_Big mistake..._' I smiled wickedly at the walking corpse.

"I was going to spare you life... but now you'll have to die."

"Hahaha… _yeah right_..." He began but stopped at the feel of cold metal against his neck. The behemoth's eyes went wide in terror.

"Bleed and _die_..." The sharp instrument in my hand slashed through the air.

'_An instrument of silence_…'

I felt myself being let down as he dropped to the floor suddenly; eyes rolling back and body convulsing. Separating myself from his corpse, I grabbed the glass of Bacardi and threw money onto the table. I walked out; securing my hood over my head. Blade wiped clean against my ragged blue jeans, I had an extra skip in my step. '_Guess I'll have to change..._' No doubt I left the other drunks stunned, stopped the entertainment, and left a smelly dead body for the MEs to play with. All and all, I'd say it was worth going out to eat. I sipped some more Bacardi as I strolled down the broken sidewalk. '_Not bad... I like sake better though._' I tossed the glass to the right of me, delighting in the tinkling sound it made when shattered on the pavement.

'_It's getting dark and I still have to pick up my paycheck and do another job._' I headed out down the darkened 'safe' streets I had walked on before and headed into my apartment building, climbed up the stairs, and entered into my customized dungeon of darkness. Kinda corny, I know, but _you_ have a couple shots worth of booze and we'll see what you're saying and thinking. I locked the door behind me, a paranoia of mine, took off my clothes, and searched threw my closet for something more suited for the occasion tonight. '_Ah... my priest's outfit... how fitting. I miss you DeathScythe, old buddy... I haven't worn these clothes since we were all together and I piloted you. Wonder what everyone is doing? I think Quatre and Trowa were getting together the last time I heard anything from anyone._'

I pulled on my black jacket over my white shirt. '_Better button it all the way so the white part doesn't get messed up!_' I studied myself in the mirror. Priest style jacket and shirt... check; black pants... yep… oh, my hair. I went and got the brush and smoothed away the knots. '_I think I'm the only person I know with long chestnut hair._' I began braiding it and looked my clothes over in the mirror for any stains or rips. '_All good._' Beaming, I tied the end of my braid and put on a black cap. Shoes and socks, I put on while sitting on my bed. '_Okay... now for the _fun_ part._' I walked over to the goodie-bag I had stashed away in the back of the closet. '_Okay, two guns, extra rounds, knife, grenades, all the other crap... alright!_' I hid everything under some part of my clothes. Now the last thing... I grabbed my CD player and shoved it along with some other last minute things into a small black bag.

'_Alright, time to go party..._'

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Author**: Okay, did u like? Hope you did... tell me what you think... I made a pretty long chapter so please take at least 2 minutes to give me some feedback... thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: Okay, another chapter... hope you enjoy... just be warned... I don't own gundam wing, just the plot I made up for this fic and this is not the type of fic for people who get easily rattled by mature things. Enjoy...

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Chapter 3**

**-Duo's POV-**

I walked down the now deserted streets. '_The park... guess that's where they said last time._' A few blocks disappeared behind me before I could see large trees that were crowded together... an ideal place to hide if need be. I sauntered over to a figure cloaked in shadows. '_How obvious can you get? It _must _be him._' I shadowed over and greeted him… only it wasn't a _he_.

"Oh errr… sorry miss, I thought..." I began to apologize, but was stopped abruptly.

"Duo, I'm here to give you you're payment and next job." She spoke in a matter-of-fact tone.

"So you're my..." I began yet again but was cut off again.

"No, I'm just giving you what I was told to... the job is in a few hours and you'll find that all the money is there. We'll contact you after it is finished to arrange the payment drop-off." She said quickly and left.

I stood there for a while, finally noticing that she had handed me an envelope. I opened it. Five hundred unmarked 100 dollar bills ruffled through my fingers; some fifties and twenties, a couple fives... but no _ones_? '_Do these high rollers not like dollar bills or something?_' I sighed and picked a letter out of the same envelope and unfolded it. '_The party's starting soon... I'd better get going._'

I set off for the mansion it was to be held; a charming social get together. I read the bounty for each diplomat's head. '_So I guess I get paid by their worth... 5000 points if I get the chief sponsor of the X Corporation playing host... that's being kinda stingy though... oh well... It's more about the revenge anyway, right? I hate having unfinished grudges..._' The paper was easily torn into square centimeters... well, _uneven_ square centimeters kinda. I huge mansion popped up before me where the little get together was being held. '_Walls around the place... guards, alarms... this place was heavily guarded... but not all that well..._' I snuck into the thick woods that surrounded the place and made my way to a spot that was guarded by only one guy. '_I have just the thing!_' I unsoldered my bag, took out a riding cloak, and shrouded myself in its mystery. Then, I let my braid hang noticeably in front of my cloak. '_Perfect._' I walked out slowly towards the guard; letting him see my cloaked self and making sure my face was well hidden.

"Who is that, stop!" He ordered me with gun drawn.

"Please don't hurt me!" I said in a high, little-girlish voice.

He relaxed a little at the sound of my made-up voice and the sight of my long braid.

"I'm sorry, but what are you doing here?" He asked, gun at his side.

"I... I lost my puppy in the woods around here. Can you please help me?" I stumbled purposely in my little girlie voice so it would sound like I was crying.

"Oh okay... don't cry. I'll help you… where did you lose him?" He tried to help just like I knew he would; I _planned_ he would.

"Over there!" I pointed into the woods.

He immediately went in that direction. I followed, pretending to look with him for this non-existent puppy.

"What's it's name?" He asked me with his back turned as he looked into the woods.

'_Now's the perfect time._'

I kicked him right in the head against one of the trees, leaving him unconscious for the night at least. I dragged his limp, resting self back to his post, went back to my bag, and got a bottle of vodka. Then I hurried back and poured it on his hands, shirt, and mouth; and put the bottle in his empty hand so it looked like he had gotten drunk on the job just in case someone came by. '_What a waste of vodka..._' I took my bag, shoved the cloak in it, and climbed up a tree that extended near one of the third floor windows. It was just sturdy enough.

I opened the window after checking no one was in there and went in quickly and shut it quietly. '_Very fancy place..._' I heard music from a band playing on the first floor, went out, and found that it was one of those hacienda things with a hole in the middle of the house so you could see what was going on in the huge ballroom thing... hard to explain. '_This is going to be fun!_' I grinned. The entire third floor scouted; not a single guard or alarm found. '_Guess these rich people don't want any guards coming into their house and stealing stuff from them._' I got out some goodies from my bag.

"Play time..."

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Koiame**: Kinda short but the next chappie is going to be part song fic so... it's gonna be awesome... especially if you like Slipknot. ^.^ Anyways... till next chappie...


	4. Chapter 4

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: I was debating whether I should make this a song-fic chappie. Well, so I made something new up, it has a song from Slipknot (called "Wait and Bleed") playing in it so... yeah... The lyrics will be in **bold**. Anyways, hope you enjoy...

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Chapter 4**

**-Duo's POV-**

'_Hmmm... wire cutter... weapons... ammo... some other stuff... I may be able to take out only a few diplomats if I just shoot and throw grenades... I need a plan._' I got up from my knees and started scouting the place.

'_Hmm... well... that's going to be tricky, but I think I have a plan._' I took out my mini boom-box and set it up at the base of the railing above the three story opening and preset the volume to max. '_Where's the remote?_' I searched threw my bag. 'Gotcha!' My plans were falling into place. Perfect! I took my bag and crept down a flight of stairs to the second story. '_Any signs of security... nope! They're making this way too easy..._'

I took out a wired explosive and set it to remote control, then stuck it behind a draped table. Universal remotes, don't you just love them? Okay then, next spot will be... '_There._' I hurried down the hall and, after a few moments of tinkering, another one was ready.

Noises sprung up from someplace ahead of me. '_Fuck!_' I sank into the shadows and listened; ready to jump whoever came, but no one did even though the noises still faintly echoed. '_What is tha... oh, wait... I recognize those sounds!_' I made my way out and down the hall to a bedroom where the noises were coming from.

'_Someone's having fun with the butler... glad I'm not the only one enjoying tonight._' I blushed at their grunting and moaning… and had a terribly _wonderful_ idea! But where were they? I snuck into the room and grabbed the butler's discarded clothes from the floor. '_He won't be needing these..._'

I made my way to the shadows and put the baggy uniform on over my clothes. '_Ready! Now for a few more fireworks to set and then I can move to the next part of the show._'

I walked around and set some explosives where I could and made sure they were concealed. '_Finished! Now time to rub elbows with the dumb bastards._' I hid some knives, handguns, grenades, and the remote control under my clothes before I snuck downstairs and acted the part my uniform suggested. I just walked past all of the naive pacifists and schemers; smiling as I made my way to the kitchen. I spotted and found a room that was deserted just around the corner. '_Now, to find the fuse box..._' I figured it was probably in the basement, but where the heck would I find that?

'Oh yeah, the chick gave me a map of the building in the letter… Ugh… maybe I shouldn't have ripped it up after all. Crap! I think I remember where the door is though… I hope.' I hurried down a deserted hall and opened a door I remembered from the drawing. "_Another closet? Okay, maybe I don't remember._' I laughed awkwardly to myself. '_Well… it's gotta be one of these!_' I must have tried a billion doors. And a billion later, I still didn't know where it was!

"You've got to be kidding me!" I shouted out, no longer mindful of my surroundings.

My head rested against the wall. '_At this rate, the party will be over before I'm done!_' I glanced out a backdoor. '_Wait, backdoor? _Duh!' I got up, taking my stuff, and went outside. '_Cellar door, cellar door? Bingo!_' I looked around; no one.

I smiled and went over to the door. Locked! I went into my bag, got out my lock picks, and went to work on the old relic. "Got it!" I ripped the lock off and ripped opened the doors. 'Down I go!'

But I paused, having heard something move to the right of me. I stared at the spot. Nothing moved, but I went over to investigate. '_No one?_' I peaked around the front of the building. The entertainment had just arrived. '_Maybe that's what I heard… though I doubt it._'

The grass crunched under my feet as I ran back to the doors; I glanced around and then descended into the darkness. After grabbing a flashlight, I clicked it on. '_Uck! For rich people, they don't have clean basements._' I took not of everything around me; lots of wine... what a ton of boozers, sheesh! '_And I though _I_ was a drunk._'

I looked around the damp, dusty walls for the fuse box. Found it. I opened it slowly, finding tons of cobwebs. "Eh!" I cleared all the dust and stuff out.

'_Alright, now lets see._' I got my wire clippers and a controller out of my bag. 'Now, this one I think.' The power control was rerouted through my remote after I set it to the right frequency. '_Finished._' Dust billowed as I closed the panel and left with my things.

'_This is _way_ too easy… call me superstitious, but in all the movies everything seems to go well and then fall apart when you're the so-called 'bad guy'._' I flicked off my flashlight as I climbed out. Door closed behind me, I made sure to lock them so it would seem as if no one was ever there. I looked around the yard before I scurried back in. I peered out from a hall at my victims. "I almost feel bad. Well, almost anyway. Time to start the real party!' I took out the remote and pushed the first button. Music came blaring through the great mansion; everyone stopped talking and dancing to see what was going on.

**I've felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down and clear the stone of leaves;  
I wander out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed.**

"That's right, the God of Death has come for you." I smiled wickedly. '_I'm having way too much fun already_.'

I pressed the second and third buttons, detonating the first two bombs.

**Goodbye!**

This sent confusion and chaos throughout the building. '_Play time!_' I ran out and threw grenades that exploded among the screaming crowd. Some tried to flee past me. I took out my knife and got a few that tried to escape; blood splattering all over me.

**I wipe it off on tile.**

I threw more grenades near the exits; trapping the screaming cowards in there with me. I took a moment to appreciate the horror I caused already.

**The light is brighter this time. Everything is 3D blasphemy.**

I took out my guns and started shooting at people; a few trying to hide behind things, most of them screaming. The guards started to hurry in and shoot back at me. "No matter, I'll just kill you all too!"

**My eyes are red and gold,**

I looked out at everyone, things were calmer as many hid behind tables.

'_They think they're safe? How wrong they are!_' I took out my remote again and pressed two more buttons; sending two more explosions that rocked the building.

"This place is coming down!" I smirked. '_Wait!_' Among the chaos was a familiar blond. "Quatre? What the hell?" I glanced at who else was near him. "Trowa?"

'_Fuck, what am I gonna do now?_' I scanned the place again; sending grenades away from my friends. '_I can't let anyone get me though, they'll be okay… What the…? Wufei, Noin ,and Relina are here too?_' I watched the preventers protect Relina.

"Great! Just fucking grand!" I screamed as I set off another explosive. Parts of the building were coming down now.

'_I gotta get outta here!_' I turned to find a fist hit me in the face; sending me flying out into the open. I recovered and wiped away the blood to see who dared hit me.

"Heero!"

**My hair is standing straight up.**

"Heero?" I asked in a stunned panic.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He yelled at me.

I paused; not knowing what the hell to do.

**This is not the way I pictured me, I can't control my shakes; how the hell  
did I get here? Something about this so very wrong.**

Regaining my killer instincts, I jumped back and stared him down.

"I'm sorry Heero, but I can't let you stop me!" I screamed over the music, screaming, and explosions.

I shot at him; missing on purpose. He took cover while returning fire. I ran; throwing grenades here and there. I didn't care anymore. It didn't matter any more, now that they all knew.

**I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this.**

I felt disconnected from my body. This is the cold killer that I always knew I was. The only thing is, it scared me every time I lost control like this, letting the anger take over me. '_This doesn't seem real, it can't be real._' My mind pleaded.

**Is it a dream or a memory?**

I pressed three more buttons sending the building shaking apart. Heero was following me, returning fire. '_Fine, be that way. I won't let you stop me!_' I tried escaping from him, from that unlucky place. I pressed the rest of the buttons for the fireworks and threw the rest of the grenades. '_Now to get out of…_'

"AH!" I gasped as a bullet pierced my left arm.

I spun around to face the source.

"Heero!" I glared at him with his gun aimed at me.

"Surrender now Duo, or I will kill you." He warned calmly.

"You'll kill me?" I whispered, not believing that.

'_Traitor. If anyone should understand, it should be you, Heero!_'

"Duo, come quietly." Heero ordered.

"Traitor! You'll have to kill me!" I yelled.

**I've felt the hate rise up in me kneel down and clear the stone of leaves;  
I wander out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed.**

He looked surprised. '_Heero, surprised. Why?_'

"Duo, just put down your weapons. I don't want to kill you." Heero pleaded.

'_Wait, Heero pleaded? What the fuck is going on? This has to be a trick, it just has to be. He doesn't care about me… that guy just wants bring me back as a trophy._'

**Get outta my head cuz I don't need this, why didn't I see this.**

"Stop playing with my mind and just shoot if you're gonna kill me!" I shouted in defiance.

"Duo!" He yelled, frustrated at my obstinacy.

"Goodbye then." I smirked and pressed the last button; turning all the lights off.

'_Escape time!_'

"Agh!" I choked as another hot bullet tore into my side.

'_He _shot_ me. The bastard actually shot me?_' I felt the blood running freely. '_I've got to get away._' I ran towards the kitchen, stumbling in the dark. '_The door…_' I heard footsteps behind me. '_Does he ever give up?_' I flew out the door into the settled darkness and jamming it shut. "That should buy me some time." The blood was soaking my body. I clutch the would in my side to try and stop it up.

I took my final little present out. "This should finish the job." I placed a large bomb on the wall and set the clock for 3 minutes. '_That should give me plenty of time to get away._'

I started to take off and heard the door burst open behind me, shots echoing around me. Climbing over the wall was difficult and painful. I don't know how I even managed it. But I made it over and ran as fast as I could through the woods; Heero right on my tail.

"Duo! Stop!" I heard him yell and fire warning shots past me.

"Just… go… away!" I gasped for air.

In deeper and deeper, still he followed. '_At least he won't be caught in the blast… Wait, why do I care… he _**shot**_ me twice! Oh yeah Duo, and he's trying to _capture_ you, you idiot! This doesn't seem fair. No other assassin has to have 'Heero the stubborn' on his trail!_'

**I'm a victim, a Manchurian Candidate.**

My blood had completely soaked through all my layers of clothing. I managed to peel off the shirt I borrowed and tossed it on the ground behind me. '_Hey, Heero put a hole in my favorite shirt!_'

"Baka!"

'_Wait, how the heck can I think of clothes at this time! I _am_ screwed up! Oh well…_' I felt myself getting weaker. '_I think I lost him._'

I stopped and listened for any movement. '_None. Thank God!_' My heart was pounding thickly. Far behind me, I heard the house explode from way back. "Heero!" I panicked. '_He couldn't have been near there, could he? Or Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre?_' I hadn't reconsidered them being there in my plans. '_They couldn't have…_' My eyes went wide and body felt heavier.

"What have I done?" I whispered and fell to my knees.

'_Don't let them be dead, please, don't let them be dead!_' I felt my insides burning.

**I have sinned by just makin' my mind up and taking your breathe away.**

Something moved in front of me and caught my eye. I looked up the barrel of a gun; Heero's gun.

"Heero." I bled on my knees before him.

"You stupid baka!" He kicked me so that I landed on my side and he put away his gun.

**I've felt the hate rise up in me kneel down and clear the stone of leaves;  
I wander out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed.**

"What the _**hell**_ did you think you were doing?" He roared at me.

**I've felt the hate rise up in me kneel down and clear the stone of leaves;  
I wander out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed.**

"Don't… pretend… like… you care!" I choked on the coppery liquid spewing from my mouth and raining down my cheek.

**You haven't learned a thing, I haven't changed a thing. My flesh was in my  
bones, the pain was always free.**

He looked disturbed from watching me bleed profusely.

"Duo... I..." He tried to find the words, but he couldn't.

'What's going on? He looks worried… I think, but… how could he… worry?' My head felt weird and everything started spinning.

"Just... finish... me, Heero." I propositioned coldly.

'_I don't care if I die. After all, what do I have to live for? Living to kill and being alone… left to grow old and die all alone. That's not living really is it?_'

"Maybe I'm just a killer… forever the god of death …nothing more." I mumbled almost inaudibly.

'_What would Father Maxwell think of me now?_' I let tears run down my face. This would be the end, anyway.

"I'm not going to kill you, Duo." Heero said firmly.

"Please... just… let me… die then." I begged my former friend.

"Duo, why do you want to die?" He crouched on the ground beside me.

'Why? I never thought about the why, did I? Shouldn't it be assumed I have a why with all I've seen? But isn't not having anything to live for an excuse?'

"Because." I paused. "I… don't have... a reason… ta' live." I cried weakly, vision blurring.

'_Why am I crying? Maybe… it was because I had never really admitted it out loud?_'

"Yes you do! Let me get you to a hospital!" He grabbed me.

"A… hospital. I was... born... to kill… and then be… killed. So… don't… try... to save… me." I whispered to him.

**You haven't learned a thing, I haven't changed a thing. My flesh was in my  
bones, the pain was always free.**

"Duo." He called to me with concern in his voice.

'_Concern, for me… why?_' I felt so weak; the world fading in and out.

"Goodbye… Heero." I bid him farewell.

"Duo!" The perfect soldier cried.

I closed my eyes. It faintly felt like my body was being held and some urgent words were spoken beyond my closed world. 'Finally… I can die.' I was swimming through light and darkness. Floating. '_Is this heaven?_' I heard noises around me. I could feel someone holding my hand. My eyes fluttered open. '_Eyes?_' I blinked. '_I'm alive… but how? Heero?_' I felt my eyes close and then I drifted out into the cold darkness.

**And it waits for you.**

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**Koiame**: That was such a long chapter! Wow. Well, hope you're liking it so far. If I get reviews I'll update before or after the holidays. Well, 'til next time.


	5. Chapter 5

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: Hey. yeah. I got reviews. who woulda guessed. Lol. Well. since I got all the angst/Romance/other depressing stuff lovers into my story, I figured I'd update with another chappie. Enjoy! ^.^

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Chapter 5**

**-Duo's POV-**

'_I feel so... so _tired_. What is going on? Am I dead? Is this all there is? Well, what did I expect, paradise? Maybe this is purgatory? This is so messed up… I hear voices around me though. Who is that? What is going on? Where are the voices coming from?_' I felt myself lifting up higher into consciousness. '_So weak..._' I opened my eyes slowly. '_Where am I?_' The white light was blinding. My eyes came into focus and I saw… '_**Wufei?**_'

"Aww, fuck! They sent me to hell." I moaned in a low, feeble voice.

Wufei gave me a questioning look before Heero came into the picture.

"You're not in hell, baka!" Heero spat ferociously at me.

'_I'm not? That must mean I'm alive… _even_… _worse!'

"Hey guys." My happiness sounded fake.

But I did feel very happy for some reason… and quite numb. They just stared at me. '_This is so weird._' I went to get up but found my arms and legs strapped down to the table. I felt a pain in my side as I tried to use my muscles to sit up, and a stabbing ache in my arm made me wince.

"That's what you get for committing such a stupid and senseless acts!" Wufei scolded me after I made a pained face.

"Hey, why are you guys so mad?" I tried.

"Don't play dumb. We know you murdered countless innocent political leaders mercilessly and without good reason." Trowa came into view.

"They were hardly innocent." I replied darkly.

Heero gave me his famous death glare. I couldn't help but cringe inside. Quatre, I noticed, had approached me with a lost and confused expression on his face.

"Duo… why did you do it?" He asked me weakly.

I just looked at him for a while. He had aged a bit, gotten taller and shoulders broadened, but his concern and belief that people were really _good_ inside still remained visible in his eyes. '_I don't know how to answer. Maybe I'm just a mistaken fool without a purpose; maybe that's the reason. But those people I killed… they helped me become what I am. Heero, Wufei, Trowa, and even innocent Quatre… they made us act this way. They didn't care about the colonies, earth, or any of us. They didn't have to suffer living when all there was left was to die! What was I fighting for?_'

"I…" I tried to find words to justify my actions, but I just couldn't.

"There is no good reason. Come on... let's leave the _prisoner_ to think about what he's done." Trowa's words cut through me.

I stared at him in disbelief. '_He can't _mean_ that. No! Where are they going? I watched as Trowa and Wufei left without another word. They just _left!_ How could they?_' Quatre could only look at me with a stunned and sorrowful look on his face.

"Duo, please… there _is_ a good reason, isn't there?" The blond pleaded with me to vindicate myself.

"Quatre, I'm sorry." I lied out of guilt.

The quivering blond looked away from me as he struggled to hold back tears. And Heero, well, he was; wait… he couldn't be? I looked at him with his face looking down at the floor.

"Heero." I couldn't stop myself, not knowing what to do in such a catastrophically unnatural sight.

'_I don't want him to cry over me; _ever_._'

"Goodbye Duo." He said, took Quatre, and left me alone.

'_No! Heero! What have I done? What is going on? I have to get outta here! I need Heero. I need him! What are they going to do to me?_' I struggled alone against my restraints.

"Heero! Come back! Somebody! Let me out of here!" I screamed and cried.

The restraints would not give, but I struggled against them still. The metal dug into me wrists and ankles, but I still continued to pull against them.

"Let me go! Heero!" I sobbed uncontrollably.

'_What have I done?_' I collapsed down onto the bed; my ankles and wrists bleeding freely. '_Oh God, just let me die._' The shame was unbearable.

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**-Heero's POV-**

I walked out of the room not knowing what to do. I met up with the guys.

"What's going to happen to him?" Trowa asked Wufei blankly.

Wufei looked grim and paused before answering. '_It can't be good. Damn it, Duo._'

"Wufei?" Quatre tried to get him to answer.

"Well," Wufei breathed. "I talked to Sally and she told me they're going to question him but… it doesn't look good. They're looking to… to give him capital punishment."

Quatre gasped. '_Capital punishment? It can't mean what I think it means? They can't just /kill/ him, can they?_' I felt like throwing up right there. Quatre swayed on the spot and Trowa caught him and embraced him as the young blond sobbed into his shoulder. I looked through the bullet-proof glass to chained God of Death. '_They won't hurt him. They can't hurt him… I'll make sure of it. I won't let Duo die._'

'_Hold on Duo… hold on until I find a way to get you out of here._'

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Koiame**: Yeah, pretty uneventful and angsty… everything is starting to set up so don't be afraid to expect some more action, blood, angst, and all the good stuff in the coming chapters. Oh, and maybe some romance. Hehehehe… till next time. Enjoy! ^.^


	6. Chapter 6

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: Hey. yeah. me again. Hm, I don't think I've properly introduced myself. Well, hi. my name is Koiame (erm. well it's not my real name but jou get the picture.) and this is my fic. Erm. yeah. Well, enjoy!

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Chapter 6**

**- Duo's POV -**

'_They brought me into that room again. I don't like that room! They called me a murderer over and over again. They told me I was going to die… that they were going to kill me for what I did… so who was the murderer now?_' The men in the suits there didn't like me. They were the ones who said those things, hoping they'd make me crack. I had been visiting them every day for a while now. They try to make me tell them why, but when I can't they get pissed with me.

"Duo Maxwell! Why did you do it? Tell me!" One of the suits grabbed me by the shoulders and shook.

I didn't answer even when he let go. '_I hate this one… he thinks he knows… he says he knows why I did it… but he doesn't. He asks me over and over again!_' My body twisted uncomfortably in the chair.

"Answer me!" He put his hands on me again. "Answer me you bastard!"

I remained silent. Even if I could, I wouldn't tell him.

"Do you want to know how many innocent people you murdered? Do you?" He tried to make me feel guilty. "You killed 68 people, not to mention you tore down a whole mansion! What do you have to say to that! What do you have to say to killing young men and women, and what did you have to say to them as you heard them scream as you took their lives!"

"Is that all I did? I thought I had at least managed to kill 80 of them. Guess I'm losing my touch…" I smirked evilly, enjoying the shock and disgust appearing on his face.

"You fucking bastard!" He punched my in the face, knocking me off of the chair. "Those people did nothing but try and make a better world for everyone and look at what you've done!"

"A better world? Ha! A better world for who? People who didn't have to fight for the world to be better? People who take for granted what I helped to give them, even though my life… and my friend's lives… became worthless? The so-called 'innocent' people that I got rid of were the real murderers. They didn't care about the real people; the people who wished for peace and suffered, even died for it! They just want to rule the world to satisfy their greed for money and power, just like before!" I spat at him angrily.

He seemed taken back by my words and was quiet for a while.

"There was no reason to kill them." He finally retorted.

"I'm not the only one who knows what those people were like. My employer agrees with me. We know they had to die." I smirked.

He looked at me strangely; like he had sudden found something important. What was he thinking?

"You mean… you were _working_ for someone?" He questioned me.

"I dunno." I played dumb.

"Give me a straight answer!" He reverted back to his usual tactic.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I answered defiantly.

He backed off for a reason that I don't exactly know. He just took them all with him, except for three armed guys of course, leaving me alone to my thoughts… kinda. Well, I just sat there actually, not doing much of anything. I just looked the room over, not missing a single detail in my mind.

"God, this is sooo boring!" I sighed.

Minutes passed by; every second fading so slowly. 'Finally the door opened again to reveal the one person I didn't want to face again; someone I wasn't looking forward to talking to again. Heero, followed by Sally Poe, entered with Wufei bringing up the rear.

'_What is going on?_' I watched them coyly; trying not to let them know I was looking at them… that I was curious about their presence. They dismissed the guards and they took positions around the room. Heero pulled up a chair and sat in it backwards facing me. '_He's just staring at me? Why? Normally I'd say it's creepy, but something about the situation was different._'

Sally took to walking around the room, ready to question me about something, and Wufei picked his favorite corner to sulk in. Sally would surely ask me some question that I wouldn't answer; I couldn't answer. But for some reason she didn't say a word… not a single word. 'What was going on? They just staring at me?' Staring at me with those cutting eyes. The hate, the suspicion, there they were, in their eyes. '_They can't understand, they can never understand why I did this._' The thought threatened to break me. I couldn't breathe in the silence. '_Say something… anything! What do they want from me already?_'

"Duo." Heero caught my attention, his voice weaker and more open then I ever thought possible.

'_What is he going to try getting outta me? And why is he talking to me that way?_'

Heero spoke again, "Duo, we need to talk."

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**Koiame**: Eh... another cliffie. Hehehe, sorry. I couldn't resist. I should update the story soon though, just let me know what your thinking and I'll put the next chappie up ASAP. ^.^ Till then.


	7. Chapter 7

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: I haven't been that happy recently, very depressed actually. so here is what I write for you all.

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**Chapter 7**

**-Duo's POV-**

"Heero... I…" Began my remonstration.

"Duo! Who are you working for, you have to tell me!" Heero said forcefully, and desperately.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I chewed my tongue.

"Duo!" He got up quickly and placed his hands on my shoulders.

He was within inches of me. I couldn't, or rather, I wouldn't look away from him. I stared into his eyes and saw a glimmer, or something, behind them. '_What is this?_'

"Duo, if you don't tell me the truth… they're going to kill you." Heero spoke softly.

I choked at those words. The pain in his voice; it's almost like he cares. '_No, this can't be real. He doesn't care. How could he?_' I turned my face from him. '_No, he doesn't know… he, wait… but… maybe he does?_' I struggled in my mind; shifting in my chair; locked inside my head. '_Can I… can I trust him? Can I trust Heero?_' I hid my face, messy braid hanging down over my right shoulder and all. '_I… I don't know. I felt numb. I knew the pain was there, but I was numb. Why is it, all of a sudden…_'

"Duo?" He questioned me as I started breathing erratically.

'_Panicking… and in pain, __**so much pain**__. It won't stop! Why can't I stop it?_' The voices inside of me echoed. '_No… They should be able to understand, but they won't. They can't be let to. You can't let them suffer the same way! I know... I can't but… Heero!_'

My eyes widened as I tried to suppress the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I put my head in my hands, trying to make the pain stop. '_Just let it leak from my body and spill out onto the floor, that's what I want… __**all**__ I want is to die, but I won't let the government idiots do it. They'll get nothing from me! _But no, I should tell Heero_. No, stop! He doesn't understand. I can't stop thinking these things; these evil contradicting thoughts! What to do, where to hide… _you can't hide_… I can't hide… __**help me**__! Someone just make this clear! Tell him, maybe he'll understand? _No he won't; he won't.'

"Duo." Heero called my name again.

"NO!" I jumped up from my chair, causing it to flip.

I backed away slowly from them, not letting them see my face. '_They can't know. I'll never let them know how this feels._'

"Duo! What's wrong?" Sally yelled in astonishment.

I backed into a corner and slid down the wall. '_Oh God, I just _did_ that didn't I. I'm such an idiot! I rested my head in my folded arms. What now?_'

"Sally, Wufei… give me a moment alone with Duo." Heero said after a few minutes of tense silence.

"What? No Heero... he is dangerous." Sally exclaimed, obviously forgetting who she was talking to.

"It'll be fine, nothing is going to happen, I promise." Heero assured her.

"Well, fine… but we'll be right outside." Sally agreed reluctantly.

Heero nodded them out. '_What is Heero doing?_' When they left I heard Heero coming toward me. '_Is he gonna beat me? He _is_._' I held my legs closer to my body; waiting for him to kick me or do something.

He came up to me. From my folded arms, I glimpsed his hand coming towards me. '_This is it. This is retribution for causing so much trouble. I knew he wouldn't understand…_' I felt a tear run down my face into my dark clothing.

"Duo." Heero said as he put his hand on my head.

'_He didn't hit me?_' He instead knelt down beside me.

"Duo… please… just tell me who hired you. If you help us get them, we can keep you from getting the death penalty." He coached me softly.

My breath shuttered as I approached my breaking point. '_I can't let this get to me. I can't listen to him, he is brainwashing me with compassion so I'll tell him._'

"Duo, I don't want you to die. You don't need to die now; you can live." Heero whispered.

"I am already dead." I cried bitterly.

I regretted the pain I was showing. '_I never wanted anyone to see this weakness -especially not Heero! I… spoke the truth though. I am dead. Dead to everyone; I'm nothing anymore. My purpose was to kill to create a better world; now I have. And now I die._' I cried helplessly. I couldn't help but die again right in front of Heero. That's what he wanted, he wanted me to cry and tell him everything. '_Hope you're satisfied, Heero!_' I broke down and sobbed to a point where I couldn't stop; a point beyond pain. Waves of hopelessness drowned me. I was screaming.

"Duo!" Heero held me in his arms.

It felt good to be held. I cried into his warmth, into his arms I felt my pain escaping; slowly, just like when the blood drains quickly from my wounds and I fade slowly into bliss. '_Slowly into nothing, slowly…_' But I felt safe. For the first time in years, I felt safe.

"Duo, everything is going to be alright. I won't let them take you. You just have to hold on until I get you out of here." Heero's voice soothed my pounding head.

"I'm sorry, Heero. I'm sorry." I said with a wisp of breath.

"Don't worry. I'll protect you." Heero told me. "I promise."

'_I don't know why, but I feel safe around him. Why… do I feel this way about him? What is this I feel for the perfect soldier?_' I faded out of consciousness into the safety of his arms once more.

'_Heero._'

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**Koiame**: Did you like. hope you did. heh. ^.^ review please. I've tons of awesome ideas for this. I can't wait to put them down. ^.^ Till next chappie!


	8. Chapter 8

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: Okay... I'm sorry about the delay... everything I used to have on my hard drive totally got whipped out... so basically I had already started this chappie but it went poof so I had to write it again... *not a fun thing!* Well... here it is... sorry for the long delay... Enjoy!

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**Chapter 8**

**-Duo's POV-**

'_My head is a mess, but I have no choice but to keep going. I don't want to open my eyes... I don't want to see the white walls, the glass windows with bars, the restraints... wait..._' I raised my arm with great difficulty. '_No restraints?_'

I opened my eyes slowly; finding something I thought I would never see again... '_Home. But how?_' I sat up slowly, my will urging me on. '_Heero… The last thing I remember was…_' A modest about of food was laid out on the coffee table before me. Someone obviously had left if for me. An empty plate that had been used not to long ago sat on the table before the chair to my right.

'_What the hell?_' I scanned the room for any movement - any sign of who had brought me there. '_Why am I here?_' I startled as the shower turned on in my bathroom. '_Who the fuck? Wait... is this a trick or something? Man, I'm confused._' I moved away from my bed slowly.

'_Should I go in and see who it is? I mean, what if it was Hilde. She'd be pissed... Oh, Kami-sama... what if it is Wufei?_' I flinched inside at the mental image of naked Wufei that plagued my mind. Instead of dreading the possibilities, I decided to just eat some of the breakfast. '_If it is poisoned, then I'm screwed… but at least I wouldn't have to risk seeing a Wufei naked!_'

I sat down with a sigh and ate the eggs, toast, and bacon happily. '_Mmm... Quatre must have made these... couldn't be Hilde because her cooking is..._'

The shower turned off abruptly. I waited, listening intently to the sound clothing rustling. '_Who is it?_' The suspense was killing me. My mind went through the possibilities for a while as I watched the door, waiting for it to open.

'_Er… wouldn't it be kinda weird if they came out of the shower and found me staring like this?_' So I laid back down on the couch and stared around the room; making sure it was apparent I'm awake. The door opened and casually turned to see him...

"Heero?" I questioned.

He stared at me quietly for a moment. '_So weird... Heero... here... in my house... and how the heck did I get here anyways? What do I say to him? Oh hey, how was the shower? Er, no… I don't think he'll appreciate that._'

"Morning." He acknowledged me quietly, trying to make everything seem perfectly normal by cleaning stuff up.

"Heero... how did I get here?" I tried not to fumble my words; starting to wonder if I was going insane.

He turned to face me with his cobalt blue eyes. "You were released."

He wasn't telling me everything, I could just tell...

"How did you do that?" I questioned suspiciously; glad to know I may not be hallucinating… but also not entirely please with all that being real either.

"Aggressive negotiation..." The great Heero Yuy did his best not to look uncomfortable.

I gave him a blank stare; the silence inviting him to explain more.

"I broke you out."

'_What did he just say?_' I stared at him in disbelief; trying to process the gravity of what he had just admitted to. '_He got me out? Why?_'

"Uh... thank you." It so awkward having to thank him, the man who had captured me in the first place!

Both of us made ourselves seem busy, feeling equally as awkward about the situation. '_Wait, I'm making the perfect soldier feel awkward? Okay... now I am doubting my sanity again..._'

"So... what's going to happen now?" I picked his brain.

"We leave tomorrow morning to go hide out with Quatre's friends, Rashid and the rest of his group. From there, I don't know..." He told me, regaining the cold barrier around him.

'_The perfect soldier; that had always been the extent to which I thought about Heero Yuy. He was one who could kill in cold blood as soon as I could. He was the true God of Death... But lately... he's become something else... something more._'

I took a quick look over at my microwave clock... 1:28 p.m. '_I slept in late... wait, how did I sleep through my escape? That bastard must have drugged me or something..._' I half-heartedly fumed. '_Guess it doesn't really matter now._'

"You better get whatever you need..." Heero told me casually.

"Oh, yeah... right."

From that point on, I was hobbling around my apartment, trying to focus on getting together all of my things. '_Shirts, pants, weapons... all the usual boring stuff. Check._'

I gazed out my bedroom window. It was a typical day being played out on the unsuspecting street below. My mind was in a daze. '_Tomorrow I'm leaving with Heero... but then what? What is going to happen after that? What... wait! There is someone there; I know it... Where, though..._' I searched for the eyes I felt upon me. Finally, I found the person that had caught my attention.

'_He's looking right at me... could he be... no... SHIT! What am I gonna do?_' He signaled me to meet him down there. '_How do I get down there without Heero noticing? I can't get him mixed up in this... He's already done enough for me already…_'

"H… Heero... I need to go buy a few things from the store... I'll be right back!" I hollered quickly.

Then I pulled on my black trench coat to disguise myself. I took my hair out of it's comfortable braid and put on a pair of sunglasses.

"See, all disguised... I'll be back in ten." I beamed; summoning up happiest fake smile I could.

"Bye!"

"Wait... Duo!" Heero attempted to object, but the door was shut and I walk already gone.

'Now to find that asshole...' The streets were crowded with shoppers. 'There!' I spotted the guy and dashed after him. I follow the cloaked figure as he ducked into a deserted alleyway.

"Alright, what do you want?" I asked him impatiently. My side was radiating with pain.

"Here, take this. Be there tonight... Come alone and don't be late." The shady man handed over a letter, passed by me, and then disappeared into the throng of people in the street.

'_What the hell? What do they want from me now?_' I stood there for about ten minutes afraid to open it. '_Oh God... this can't be good. Do they actually expect me to do another job right now?_' I finally summoned up the courage to open it. Letter unfolded, it read:

_Duo Maxwell,_

_Go to East river park. Meet us near the bridge at 12:50 a.m. or your friend will be killed. We have rigged explosives to detonate if you so much as breathe a word of this to anyone. If you do, you will both die. If you attempt to leave with him, the bombs will go off. We have enough explosives to destroy the whole street if need be. We look forward to seeing you tonight. Remember; don't be late._

_The Organization_

I felt my body slip down slowly against the wall when I finished reading.

'_Oh fuck... Heero..._' I sat there for a while thinking what to do. '_I guess I'll just have to go. I'd rather work for them then have Heero die because of me._'

"No... Heero won't die... If anyone will... it'll be me."

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**Koiame**: Heh... did you all like... a nice long chappie with a mean little cliffie... don't worry thought, the next chapter is going to be awesome! Just review and I'll let you all read! ^.^ Till then...


	9. Chapter 9

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/03/10 for your reading pleasure. :D**

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Koiame**: Hey... see I have some dedicated readers... muhahaha... well... this fic has just begun... whatever you think is gonna happen is probably wrong.(unless you're psychic or something) so... read and find out... oh, and there may be a little lemony-ness in here so... *cough* yeah... you know... oh, and part of this fic is kinda song fic type so... yeah... enjoy...

(Song lyrics are in** BOLD **face.) It's AFI's "Silver and Cold"

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**Chapter 9**

**-Duo's POV-**

It was getting late. Numbness filled me. I had finally found an opportunity for a fresh start, and all of a sudden it was gone. '_I don't want... to be here anymore. I don't want to do this. Is that wrong of me to think, Sister? They're probably going to kill me, or make me do more of their dirty work first. I… don't think I really want to go and die like that, but it is more of a have to go situation. After all this... after everything that's happened, I am being forced to throw it all away?_' The edges of the bricks in the wall dug into my back as I sat there – immobilized - cut off from everything.

"Heero... what would you do?" I mumbled to myself.

"I'd ask you what the heck you're doing..." Drawled Heero voice as he approached me in the alley.

I jumped to my feet; discretely hiding the letter under my coat.

"Oh hey, Heero!" My cheeriest fake smile couldn't stamp out the suspiciousness of the circumstance. '_Oh, fuck me with a rake, this can't get any worse!_'

Heero eyed me with suspicion. '_Damn it... please don't see past this... please, please, please!_' I shifted my weight as I stood there uncomfortably.

"Uh... well what are we standing here for? It's getting late and we haven't eaten dinner yet!" I made a quick excuse and led the brown haired bishonen back to my apartment.

It was completely dark, cold, and windy outside as we walked back. '_Damn... it's like all those mystery/suspense movies._' I shivered.

**I came here by day, but I left here in darkness and found you, found you on the way. And now it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold. You in somber resplendence I hold.**

I navigated Heero back to my apartment; glad to escape from the cold night. Putting on a cheery mood, I started making some sandwiches; the only thing edible in the house. I then rambled on about nothing, trying to fool him. I couldn't fool him though. A sinking feeling in my stomach told me he knew.

'_Maybe I'm just trying to fool myself. Oh God, I'm talking like a psychiatrist! Eh... I guess sitting in a room with one for hours can have a slight affect on a person after all... who woulda thought?_' I sneered inwardly.

"Duo..." Heero's voice shattered the glass wall I had put up with my ramblings.

"Hum... yeah..." I turned to look at him with trepidation.

"What's wrong?" He asked; his eyes so... so soft.

My breath caught in my chest. I felt my consciousness melting in and out of blackness. I hesitated before answering shakily.

"Nothing... nothing's wrong..."

I tried to change the topic by bringing him the sandwich I had made.

"Here... I know it doesn't look the best but it isn't half bad so..." I said but then stopped when I saw the concern etched on his face.

'_Damn it... I wish I could take all the pain from him... I feel so ashamed..._'

**You're sins into me, oh my beautiful one. Your sins into me, oh…**

"Um... I... better go take a shower and stuff... got to be ready for tomorrow! So... yeah..." I hesitated for a second, avoiding his eyes, and then went off to go shower.

After grabbing a way oversized long sleeve shirt and long baggy pants from my room, I skirted into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I could put them over my clothes and slip them off easily.

'It feels so cold... In pain, but I don't have the liberty to feel...' Never was my soul so fragile. '_I can't believe I'm actually scared... Shinigami, scared of facing death? I never imagined this day would come. I've wanted this before, an end, but... why is it _different _now? Why the _**fuck**_ is it different now?_'

I dropped numbly to my knees, the cold tile warmer than my insides. '_Suppressing tears; trying to do the same with everything... just trying to pretend that my life isn't coming to a worthless, pitiful end. I had always envisioned my death as more heroic one. Dying for someone; saving the world... not this, _never_ this pathetic. If I end this now, they can't use me or kill me._' My hand shakily grasped the knob of the sink cabinet; trying not to think. But thoughts still floated by; devoid of sound and light.

I opened the doorway to death. Where was the sharp, shiny object I needed? Finally found in its wrapper, I ripped open its package slowly so I wouldn't be heard. '_It's… kind of beautiful._' I stared at its flawless edge. '_The death of everything..._'

'_Better make sure it is sharp enough._' My mind whimsically worked; mechanical and detached from emotion. I took off my shirt and tried to decide on a place to start. I picked a place farther up my left arm. I bit my lip and touched the blade against my skin.

'_One... Two..._' I cut deep and long; the stinging pain reaching me immediately. Eyes closed, I bit my lip 'till it started to bleed too. My breaths were uneven and I felt my blood tickle my arm as it ran down to the floor. I opened my eyes and looked at what I had done. The blood escaped from my body quicker and quicker, the pain clouding my mind. The rivers of blood crisscrossed one another until they started to form one big mass of my sorrows.

'_This is it then... no more stalling. I have to do this... I can't back down. For Heero. And everyone else... I will never hurt them again..._' A faint, sad smile curved my lips. I clutched the blade between my thumb and index finger and centered the place on my wrist. '_Good bye Heero._'

"Duo!" Heero yelled as he banged on my door.

His voice jolted me from the foggy haze of my commitment. I froze.

"Yeah Heero." Despite the high pitch, I managed to make my voice work.

"Why aren't you in the shower yet?" He asked plainly.

"Uh… I'm trying to find the shampoo?" My lie was weak. I prayed he didn't have a great imagination. "I… it always seems to disappear every time I need it..." I chuckled insincerely.

"Oh... Alright. I'll just be lying down. I want to talk to you after." The suspicion in Heero's words gave way to worry.

'_Heero… was worried about me... It seems so impossible._' I felt guilt winding around inside; my stomach turning uncomfortably.

"You worry way too much." I attempted to laugh wholeheartedly. "We'll talk as soon as I get outta the shower, k!"

'_I am such an asshole._'

"Alright then..." Heero walked away quietly.

'_Oh shit! Shit shit shit shit shit!_'

**As a rapturous voice escapes I will tremble a prayer, and I'll beg for forgiveness, your sins into me, oh my beautiful one... **

'_I'm such a stupid bastard! I'm sorry, Heero. What was I thinking? Offing myself here of all places for Heero to find my lifeless body on the floor surrounded in my blood! __**WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PROBLEM?**_' Fists clenched and blade forgotten, I beat myself up inside. Tears silently ran down and my breaths became uneven.

I rushed over to the shower and turned the water on so Heero wouldn't worry anymore. Blood was dripping all over the floor. I tossed myself in and let the water cascade over my body. The pain was excruciating. A scab had started to form on my arm, but the water still burned terribly. I didn't care though... It didn't matter. I gradually got up slowly from crouching in the tub and washed my hair weakly with my right arm. My tears were leaking and falling into the shallow pool of water gathered at my feet, keeping the bloody undercurrents company.

"Heero..." I whispered my accidental savior's name softly so only I could hear it.

'_What is it about Heero?_' I sighed, tears run dry.

Water turned off, I pushed back the curtain and viewed the bloody mess I'd made on the floor. Grabbing a black towel from a folded pile next to the sink, I tossed it on the floor started to mopping the evidence up.

'_Times like these I love having black and red towels._' The joke fell flat against my bruised heart.

I finished and buried it in the bottom of the laundry basket. 'No sense worrying about the stains when I'll be dead or gone tonight.' The blade was sticky as I picked it up and shoved it carelessly under the sink.

After drying off, I dressed my wounds, gingerly put my two layers of clothes on, and, after checking to make sure all the blood was cleaned up, I ventured out into a darkened room. Heero's legs were visible beyond the large pile of pillows I had carelessly placed on the bed.

'_Heero… on my bed? G… good thing I'm strait, or else I'd be kinda... well you know… by this situation._' My cheeks were flushed as I approached, more and more of his body coming into view. '_He's just sprawled out in from of me on a bed. Oh… God... Wait... I'm straight... _straight_... straight... straight, straight, _**straight**_! Soft lips... Wait… __**What am I think**__? Oh shit... I'm _not_ straight? How can I _not_ be strait?_' I stood mesmerized by him. An insane urge to pounce on him hit me like a ton of bricks. My cheeks turned a dark shade of red. Heero opened his eyes and then turned to look at me.

"Duo... I wanted to ask you a few things if it's okay..." Smoothly, he sat up and motioned me to sit beside him. I did without hesitation.

"So... what's on your mind, let doctor Duo help." I said trying to force my mind out of the gutter it had descended to.

His piercing eyes disarmed me with the same understated expression, making me be shut up. My smile faded and I avoided looking at him directly.

"Duo, why?" He asked slowly.

"I... It... it's hard to say..." The awkwardness was making my body tense.

"Did you really want to kill them?" He asked me with innocence in his voice like a child. '_Not fair, Heero. Don't ask me like that…_'

"I... don't know... I don't know why I even... why I agreed to it... No, that's not right… I wanted... revenge... but I didn't feel bad after I did... I felt... I... was... happy that... that they suffered like..." I choked. '_Why am I telling him all of this?_' It truth hurt to tell… it hurt way worse then my arm, getting shot, or anything. '_What happened to the Duo that would run and hide, but never tell a lie?_'

"Duo..." Heero began again.

"Please don't... don't ask me any more..." I pleaded softly.

Tears started to burn my cheeks. '_Oh god, _not now_... not in front of Heero!_' I whimpered lightly, trying to hold them back.

"Duo..."

I couldn't take it any more... I broke down into Heero's arms once more, his hands clutching me tight.

"Duo... it's going to be fine... I won't let anyone get you..." Heero tried to comfort me.

'_If only that could be true…_'

**Light, like the flutter of wings, feel you hollow voice rushing into me as you're longing to sing. So I, I will paint you in silver... I will wrap you in cold...**

"Duo..." He stole my attention as he lifted my face up near to his.

I stared longingly into his eyes, my crying slowly stopping.

"Duo... I … I won't let anything happen to you. I care about you." He confessed to me softly and sweetly.

Completely disarmed, I melted into his eyes... his comforting soul. '_Is this really happening?_'

"Heero..." I whispered softly as my face drew closer to his.

I wanted to feel his soft lips on mine, his touch... his love. We kissed.

'_Heero tastes like the sweetest cherries..._' He held me close to him with his strong yet slender arms. His touch was gentle - like his kiss – as he caressed cheek. I felt him leaning into me, pushing me down, and I lied down on my back slowly; lips locked against his. His body hovered over mine. It felt so _right_... I was loved by Heero. '_I'd gladly die by his kiss._'

**I will lift up your voice as I sink... Your sins into me, oh my beautiful one, your sins into me... oh. As a rapturous voice escapes I will tremble a prayer and I'll beg for forgiveness, your sins into me oh my beautiful one. **

I felt Heero's roam all over my body, caressing every part. I moaned under his touch. '_Too bad this can't last forever..._' Reality reminded me cruelly. The seductive blue-eyed preventer made his way to my zipper. God knows I wanted him too, but I couldn't... not with extra clothes underneath. He would know, and then we would both die. I grasped his hand in mine.

"No, not yet Heero... not now..." I gasped, hating myself.

"Okay... I can wait." He whispered. I couldn't help but let out a soft moan.

His hand drew back, contending to caress me as he had before instead. His lips moved down my neck. 'Oh my god that feels so good!' I panted. 'This had to end… before I lose my resolve.' I didn't want it to, but it was getting late. With one last passionate kiss, I scooted my way to the end of the bed closest to the door. Wrapped in his arms, my mind was at ease.

"Goodnight Heero..." I whispered softly to him. '_And goodbye._'

"Goodnight Duo." He said lovingly to me. It was like heaven and hell.

'Damn it!' I watched the clock. It was 11:23 already. '_I hope Heero falls asleep soon... for both our sakes._' I stayed there for an hour pretending to sleep until I thought it was safe to get up. Never could I have anticipated something like this would develop. I had been listening to Heero's breathing and his calm heart beating. Carefully, I got up, making as little noise as possible, put on my shoes, grabbed a gun, wrote Heero a goodbye note, and then opened the door. '_12:30 a.m._' With one final look at my lover's sleeping form, I left to face my own death.

**Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you... **

I stripped off the top layer of clothes I was wearing and tossed them careless on the sidewalk. '_Only fitting I die in my priest's outfit... ironic too I guess._'

I was almost there... The place was familiar and I knew my way around there pretty well. I had gone there often just to sit under a tree and read, people, or just pass time. I didn't mind dying there that much.

'_I control my destiny from now on... I can work for them or die against them... guess I'll be dying tonight then with those crappy selections. Either way I'm screwed... either way I'm losing the only fucking person that gives a damn. Heero, please forgive me for this one day..._' The clouds above were torn and blackened red like my scared flesh. '_All the battles for this... all the fighting and lukewarm peace, but I've still lost. I never had a chance, did I?_' The night became colder and colder with every step.

"Almost there." I could see the park now; a small, unremarkable figure stood near the entrance.

**Cold in life's throws**

When I broached the entrance, I chuckled a little. '_The entrance to eternal hell._'

I stared at my reflection in the large, fast-moving river that snaked throughout the park. I continued through until I came to the bridge they mentioned. Straddling the river, there he stood. The figure was still.

Without warning, a shot rang out. Before I could react, I was on the ground with someone on top of me. '_Heero…_' My eyes went wide in horror.

"Heero! Are you hurt? Why are you here?" I screamed.

BANG. Heero shot back at the figure; missing barely.

"What were you thinking?" He scolded me, voice growling.

Heero was unhurt, but furious with me. '_Shit!_'

"Heero... there's no other way... Now go, save yourself. I can't watch you die! It's _**me**_ they want..."

**I only ask you turn away... **

Heero slap me across the face. Dumbstruck, I stared back into his eyes.

"I'll _never_ leave you Duo! Quit trying to be a martyr all the time, and ask me for help! He kissed me fiercely.

Countless figures rushed towards us; guns drawn. '_So was this was always their plan for me? Those bastards! And now they've dragged Heero into it!_'

I staggered to my feet and opened firing at them. Heero and I dodged their return fire. '_We managed to take out all but two... not bad I'd say._' I smiled. '_The God of Death is back..._'

My smile faded as I heard noises coming from behind us. I looked back. "There are more of them?"

We were surrounded; at their mercy now. '_I have to think up a plan... anything to just get Heero away safely..._'

"Duo... How great to see you. Maybe we were hasty. Why don't you come back and work for us, and we'll guarantee that you will not be harmed..." The leader of the group toyed with me.

"What about Heero?" I asked forcefully.

"Sorry to say, but we have no need for him." He frowned and raised gun at him.

I pushed Heero behind me so that they couldn't get him. Now backed against the small railing of the stone bridge, we were fucked.

"Without Heero, there is no deal!" I shouted at them.

"Hmmm... well that really is a pity, because the boss doesn't want him... and when he doesn't want something, I get rid of it quickly for him..." He smile; motioning to two men to grab us.

I shot at them. '_Like hell, I'd give up._'

"You won't harm him... I'd rather die then let you hurt him or to work for you bastards again!" I screamed and shot at them.

"Goodbye Heero..." I whispered sadly to him over my shoulder.

**Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you... cold in life's throws, I only ask you turn...**

'There's no time left for us.' Body spun around, I wrapped Heero in my arms. He struggled in protest.

"**Duo!**"

I put one foot on the railing. The shots rang out... I felt them scream into my body. '_The pain... oh god the pain..._'

**As they seep, into me, oh my beautiful one... **

The firing stopped. "Heero… forgive me…" I coughed as I felt blood running down my mouth. '_Just like before._'

'_As long as Heero was safe… that's all that matters… Heero, please stop crying…_'

**Your sins into me, oh my beautiful one, your sins into me… oh… as a rapturous voice escapes I will tremble a prayer and I'll beg for forgiveness… You're sins into me… **

Without a thought, I forced Heero with my body over the edge. We fell into the river. Heero held onto me as we were carried rapidly away... Heero was struggling, trying his best to get us to shore... '_Some… god of death I turned out… to be, huh_.' The water was mixing with the blood in my mouth and my lungs. Solid land rolled up underneath me. Heero over, tears washing down his face.

"Duo... hold on... I'll get you to a hospital... just please hold on!" His desperate voice rang.

There were sounds around us now... I saw Heero's face go, if possible, even paler. Then I saw why. They where there, those fucking bastards! I wanted to save Heero from them... '_Damn it! Heero, run!_' But Heero just stayed there.

"I'll do anything you want, just save him!" I heard Heero plead.

There was silence for a moment... Everything starting to go out of focus... but I could still hear them clearly. One of the guys raised his gun to at Heero, but nothing happened. It was an eternity of stillness.

'_Somebody help him… someone do something!_' My prayers were answered.

"Wait. Don't shoot him... Maybe he can be of good use to us. Bring them both." The man in charge ordered.

The men holstered their guns. Heero's hands were tied behind his back, and I felt my bloody, broken body being carried by the filthy bastards... '_They will regret this... they will suffer…_' I was put into a huge van with Heero, my head resting on his lap.

'_I'm… sorry, Heero... I'm so sorry._' I tried to tell him with my eyes. He gazed back at me with a worried, caring, and sad expression. '_Fuck… Now I've ruined… his life, too._'

"Untie him... he won't try anything as long as we have Duo." The leader said.

The men complied. He held me close and cupped my cheek. Everything was disintegrating now... '_I almost… wish I was dying, but I can't leave... Heero... alone... It's... hard to think... now... Heero..._' I looked into his silent eyes one last time before passing out in his arms, for hopefully not the final time...

**Oh my beautiful one...**

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**Koiame**: I thought that was an awesome chappie but as I said... they story has just begun... will they both be forced to do the cruel and evil tasks of this unknown terror-based organization... who is really responsible for everything and what do they want? Review and you can find out... thanks for continuing to read... now review and you'll get to read a ton more! Promise! ^.^ Till next chappie...


	10. Chapter 10

**EDIT: This chapter has been reformatted and improved on 10/05/10 for your reading pleasure. :D I had to totally rewrite the sex scene, so you better appreciate it! Please only read it if you're at least 18 and don't mind explicit material, thanks!**

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Koiame**: Since I left the last chappie left off so evilly suspenseful... I started working on this chappie asap so there wouldn't be any uprisings... unfortunately, mobs of angry anime fanfiction fans are quicker that I thought... *runs with angry mob following...* therefore, for your sanities (and my life) I should warn you though that there is a **major lemon** towards the end of this chappie so... yeah... **NC-17**... so if you know... you don't wanna read that part... then skip it... ^.^ now that I got that over with, here's the next chappie! ^.^ Enjoy! *runs off*

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Chapter 10**

**-Duo's POV-**

'_Uugh! What the hell? I feel like I've been dropped off a cliff and ran over a few times by a truck if that's possible... hey why not... does it even... fucking matter? I feel a bit wobbly... where am I? I could swear my eyes are open... maybe I'll get up and find a light switch..._' I tried to get up but it felt like people had stuck swords through my whole body.

'_**Fuck!**_' I tried not to scream. I managed to stay standing. '_How did I get here? Why does my head hurt this bad? Where is everyone?_'

I took one step forward. '_What the hell?_' I saw light coming through the wall - a little sliver of it. I went slowly towards it. My hand grazed the wall. '_It's... cloth..._' I tugged on it.

Light came flooding into the room. '_It was a window?_' I surveyed my surroundings... a small bed in the corner, a door on the left side, an open closet full of uniforms, a side table with a lamp, another window on the same wall as the other, and a door in between them. Out the window was a hallway that looked like it had been through a century or two.

'_Where the hell am I?_' I decided to venture out of the room. The carpet chaffed my bare feet. There were was a stairway leading down on the left, more corridors to the right, and doors lining the hall. '_Okay... is it me or is this Resident Evil type shit?_' The door had names plates on them too. I paced up and down the hall reading them. The same labeling scheme applied to the room I'd left. On it was my name... it clearly read my name on it! '_What the fuck is going on... I don't know how the hell I got here and I'm pretty sure I've never been here so..._'

I continued down to the adjacent room to mine and stopped. '_Oh my god..._' On the door the name plate read Heero Yuy. '_Heero! Now... now I remember! Oh god!'_ I tugged on the door trying to make it open, but it wouldn't. I tried kicking it and unhinging it but nothing I did would work.

"Heero! Heero, open the door! It's me! Are you in there? Please open the door!" I cried.

'_Please let him be alright... fuck... why won't this door open?_'

"Come now, Duo... there is no reason for shouting." A man's voice came to me from the left side of the hall.

'_It's the man from the park._'

"You! What have you done to Heero!" I screamed at him.

"Calm down. He isn't in there. I'll take you to him... Now shut up and follow me." The smooth talking bastard told me.

I had no choice but to follow him. I need answers and the only way to get them was to follow the asshole. Down the long staircase we went, passing other floors. '_God this place is huge!_' We finally reached the bottom where a single door was. He opened the door and I saw it... a huge hanger full of mobile dolls were being built, tested, and repaired.

My body felt cold. '_Oh God... they're... they're going to start another war... wait... this place doesn't have much gravity. It can't be one of the colonies?'_ I jumped up easily. '_They can turn the gravity off to work on the suits. That means we're in space, but... how is that possible!_'

We ascended a flight of stairs and entered a military-style office building. There was an army of people in uniforms I'd never seen before working on computers, technology, communication, you name it... it was happening. My guide led me to the boss's private office. The blinds were drawn and it was semi-dark.

"In here..." He shoved me into the room. I winced at the contact on my back.

Heero was tied down to a chair in front of a desk. Behind it was a man in his late 20's to early 30's with long black hair and piercing reddish eyes. '_Woah, __**creepy**__!_' I shivered; he smirked at me in response.

"Duo... sit down." He waived his hand, directing me to take a seat next to Heero.

I did what he requested, looking at Heero, my lifeline. 'He's alright.' My heart breathed a sigh of relief. I gave the creep a death glare as he pierced me with his burning eyes.

"What do you want from us?" I asked, point blank.

"Just your services... As I've already explained to your 'friend'. The two of you are going to help me in my plans..." The man's long hair spilled over his face.

"And just what are your insane, screwed up plans anyway?" I couldn't mask my defiance.

"The only thing you'll need to know is that you and Heero are mine; to do with as I please." He looked at me weirdly for the last part.

"And if we don't do whatever you want..." I tested.

He laughed, "Then you'll suffer..."

"I don't care if I die!" I yelled.

"Who said I'd _kill_ you?" The vindictive implications of his words shut me up.

'_I did NOT like the way he said that..._'

"Oh, and if you are thinking of escape... I just want to let you know that while you were asleep we took the liberty of implanting a handy little device in your arm that lets us send an electric shock through your body if you don't do as you're told. And your precious Heero has one too. So you see… we even took into account your martyr complex. You don't want to test my resolve, Duo." He snickered evilly.

"You fucking..." My cursing was interrupted when a wave of pain rippled throughout my body.

I fell out of my chair, weakly to my knees as my muscles spasm.

"Duo!" Heero called to me.

"I'm... I'm alright..." I panted and got up when it stopped.

"Now do you see? You are mine to control. Do what I ask of you, and you can do whatever you want. But if you don't... well... you get the picture now don't you?" He monlogued.

Heero was untied after the red-eyed bastard gave him the signal.

"You two can go look around... see your new, permanent home. Go get some food in the cafeteria, on me. I wouldn't want my new pets to go without, now would I?" I really wanted to slit his throat! The other guys shoved us out the next moment.

Heero and I were left standing alone in the hall.

"Heero?"

"I know, Duo. Don't worry. We'll get out of this place." My personal Gundam pilot reassured me.

Grabbing my hand, he ushered me out the office to the huge hanger I had seen earlier.

"Let's have a look around..."

"Yeah..." Heero agreed.

We both searched the place. It was like a huge maze. The whole floor was full of advanced weaponry. We went up the stairs to where the rooms where, each floor's hallway was different from ours. We went up to the very top of the stairs... it was our landing. Instead of going to our rooms, I lead Heero down the nest hallways after ours.

'_There it is... the door outta here!_' Heero seemed to think the same as I did. We rushed to it and opened it up to find the large domed artificial world of one of the colonies. Before us were a whole streets of lined with homes, shops, restaurants, and people. I stood there staring until a huge uniformed man popped in front of us.

"Apparently he's the guard." I smirked at the challenge.

"You must be Heero and Duo. I was wondering how long it would take you to find your way out. I'm supposed to let you know this whole colony is under our control. Mr. Metsuki advises you don't even think about escape." The meat-head snickered.

"The _whole_ colony?" I was shocked. '_What colony would do this? It sure as hell wasn't colony 2._'

"Yep..." He grinned and stepped aside to let us pass.

Heero brought my attention back to the situation. I followed him to a small café. We went in and I saw that everything was pretty quiet. There were a few people there enjoying the afternoon with friends and family.

My stomach was empty. '_Sooo hungry!_' Heero seemed to read my mind and brought me up to the counter.

"Erm... Funny story… I forgot my money, but I'm really, really, really hungry so..." I rambled.

"Don't worry Mr. Maxwell. You and Mr. Yuy don't need to pay..." The young lady behind the counter smiled knowingly.

"_Oh_... okay..." My eyebrows rose. '_This is strange._'

Heero and I exchanged looks. That had just confirmed it. We were in fact screwed. This was their base, and no one here could do anything to help us. They were as screwed as we were...

"Um... can I get soda and a thing of fries?" I ordered, not knowing really what to do any more.

"Okay... and what will you have?" She asked Heero brightly.

"Soda." His eyebrows were furrowed, noticeably ticked-off from being trapped in such a situation.

We waited in silence for orders. '_This must be a dream._' We took our free stuff and commandeered a couch in a deserted corner. Sitting next to Heero, I scoffed down my cola and inhaled the fries.

'_God... When was the last time I ate or drank anything?_' I offered Heero some before it was all gone. 'How the fuck can I think of eating?' I trashed the empty thing of fries and then leaned on Heero's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me. '_At least with a satisfied stomach, I can think straight._'

"What the hell are we going to do?" I asked Heero.

"The only thing we can do..." He said solemnly.

My eyes searched him for the answer.

"We have to do whatever they tell us for now."

"But..." I tried to protest.

Heero's hand brushed my cheek.

"We just need to wait until we have a chance of escape and have learned as much as possible about his plans. Until then, we need to do whatever he makes us. We'll find a way out, trust me." Heero whispered into my left ear.

"Fine..." I breathed. My body relaxed in his arms.

It was starting to get dark out; a speaker was on telling everyone that in five minutes they would begin night time. Everything was simulated on the colonies to mimic earth, but it still wasn't the same. My back bristled as Heero rubbed my arm and up and down my waist gently.

"Duo... we better go now." Heero told me after the place had mostly cleared out.

"Right..." I agreed.

We made our way back, passed the new guard, and walked down our hallway.

"You go on in... I'll be over in a little while. " Heero kissed me softly before we disappeared into our own rooms.

Flicking the light on, I let the door shut behind me. '_The other door must lead to the bathroom..._' The room was as foreign as I left it.

'_I guess I'll find something else to change into._' I went over to the closet I noticed earlier; there were uniforms and some of my clothes. '_Guess they decided to raid my apartment._'

I stripped off my shirt, grimacing at the persisting pain, and grabbed some pajamas. 'Guess I'll get changed in the bathroom.' I crossed the room and opened the door to find '_Heero?_'

"Uh... hi..." I fumbled my words, not knowing anything else to say.

"We share a bathroom..." Heero explained.

"Oh..." Heero stood before me; clad only in his boxers, getting ready to take a shower.

'_Damn he's hot..._' I blushed. He was staring at my bare skin. '_Oh shit... I'm only in _my_ boxers! And, the scars on my arm!_' I gladly saw that my pajamas were covering it. '_Not that he'd be able to distinguish them from all the other scars, right?_' My guilty conscious was acting up again.

"Um... so... I'll take a shower later... I'll be over in a sec..." Heero stumbled, obviously bothered.

"Yeah..." I backed away from the doorway and closed the door quickly.

'_My heart's pounding... holy shit!_' I tried to breathe. '_Okay... I gotta stop this... gotta calm down..._' I gulped.

"Okay..." I took a couple deep breaths. '_I'll just wait here for Heero..._'

"Duo..." Came a knock at the door.

"C… come in." I replied quickly, without thinking.

Heero now had some jeans on over his boxers... damn... '_I should've gotten dressed too..._' My mind was scrambling.

"Hi... erm... so... any escape ideas yet?" I tried to make conversation.

"No..." Heero sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed. It was the only thing to sit on in the room, after all.

I sheepishly joined him.

"I think they're going to start another war, Heero."

"Yeah. That's why we need to wait and get all the information we can about them. Then I'll kill those guys." The coldness in his voice chilled my bones.

"Heero... I'm sorry. I never should have gotten you into all of this shit. I..." Started my rambling apology.

His mouth stole mine and I was drawn into him. We broke away for a second.

"Duo... I love you. I don't care what I have to do... I'm not going to leave you. That's what my emotions tell me to do." He whispered seductively.

I beamed at him. Another round of kissing broke out. 'T… things could get pretty interesting again... I hope...' I laid back on the bed, still being kissed by him. The lamp by my bed hosted the only light source for the room. With a click, it was easily extinguish. Only a small bit of light from under the bathroom door lit up the room just enough.

'_How far are we going to go this time?_' My body craved him so badly... I'm sure he noticed the tent that my boxers were turning into. '_I don't care anymore... about anything else... all I want is Heero..._' I felt his hands move over my bare skin. My back arched with pain and pleasure as he lightly inspected the closed bullet holes and old scars with his fingers. '_Damn that feels good!_'

(Author: To all readers, this is the lemon part... enjoy! ^.^)

His breath teased my neck. Kisses traced all the way down to my…

'Ooo…' Heero found my left nipple.

"He… Heero…" I panted and dug my nails into his bare back. '_Take me!_' I wanted to scream, but my pride was still intact. Instinctively, my arousal started grinding against his leg. It was rough from the denim. '_Those need to come off._' My hands shook as they unbuttoned his pants. Heero moved to my other nipple and I couldn't concentrate. '_Uuu… his tongue is… on my god I want him…_' I wanted him to take my hard affection in his hand and… and… My world exploded as he rubbed his hand over my bulge.

'_Heero…_' I didn't want to hold back any more, but he was in control.

He played with the waistband of my boxers, stripping me naked while still managing to nibble my sensitized nipple. He chuckled softly as I squirmed in anticipation. The nagging pain mixed with pleasure left me high.

Noticing my hardship, Heero helped me by taking his own bottoms off.

"Heero..." I moaned his name softly, wanting him more than anything.

His naked, toned body pressed against me again. 'Oh my… Holy fuck he's hard!' Heero's member was bear down on my leg. I shuttered, wanting to feel the friction.

"Duo." He held me in his eyes, waiting for permission to continue.

My hand slipped down to his rock hard member. At first I stroked it gently, causing Heero to suppress a deep moan. His hips undulated and I continued; each motion more becoming more confident and firm. My lips searched his neck and crept down to his chest as I continued to pump him.

"Duo…" Heero moaned my name quietly as he grabbed my sides harder. The wave of pain caused my hips to jerk.

His cock was starting to leak. '_I… wonder…_' My body wriggled down until I was eye level with his…

"Mmm…" My mouth encircled his length. I started bobbing up and down, working up a rhythm. '_So this is what it's like… Heero tastes… good._' It was indescribable; the feeling of warmth caressing my tongue, threatening to choke me. It was _exhilarating_. Heero's fingers threaded through my tussled hair. I ran my nails down his inner thighs. His body arched in extacy.

"Duo!" He panted, holding onto my head tighter. I couldn't help but smile as I continued, still keeping in mind not to brush his member with my teeth.

All of a sudden, Heero grabbed my shoulders and pulled my up to him for a kiss. Before I could protest, he grasped my yearning cock and was pumping it fast and hard.

"Aauhh!" Pleasure pulsed from my stiff member. His tongue traced circles on my neck, biting me hard when he chose. Stars were exploding behind my eyelids. On my left leg I could feel Heero grinding against me to the same rhythm.

'_If he keeps this up… I'm gonna… I'm gonna…_' I opened my eyes and turned my head towards him.

Before I could beg, Heero captured my lips and mounted on top of me, cocks touching dangerously. '_The feeling… of… Heero's… oh my god…_' Our tongues danced as he began undulating; stroking my member with his.

'_Paradise…_' My hips were buckling from the _need_ arising from the bottom of my shaft. The bed was shuttering with each thrust.

"Heero… OOOhh… _**I want to**_…" I bit his bottom lip.

"Me too." Heero breathed, ready to lose control.

"He… Heero, I'm…" My cock shuttered and hips bucked wildly.

"I'm coming!" His deep voice seemed to growl as I felt him release with me.

Panting, our bodies spasmed until Heero collapsed on top of me.

'_Did we… really just do that?_' The world seemed whole. I closed my eyes, breathing heavily, savoring the moment.

"Heero…" My fingers ran through his dark brown hair.

"Duo." My newfound lover slid from on top to me, to lay at my side. Bringing the covers up over us, Heero laid down and swung an arm over my chest. Head swimming, I let myself drift off to sleep.

**

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**

**Koiame**: Hehe... I thought that was sooo sweet... sorry for the lemon for all those who didn't want it... you should of skipped it if you didn't wanna read so don't flame... hehe... all those who liked it... please review and I'll get on with the story... ^.^ Till next chappie!

solemnly


	11. Chapter 11

Author: Hey... yeah... sorry for the wait... . Least I left you all with a yummie little lemon though... hehe... nosebleed uh... so here is another chappie just for ya all... .  
  
Everything was burning... BURNING!!! Heero!!! I snapped awake... white again... white... where am I? Heero... I breathed in quick uneven gasps. Oh god. I looked around... it looked like a prep room, something like the places gundam pilots would wait and get ready in... what the hell? I had just fallen asleep a few hours ago with Heero... what happened? The door snapped open, who the hell... I instinctively shot up from where I was lying. Red eyes... the first thing I noticed as the person entered the door. It was him... the friggin boss! A scowl wound across my face as he closed the door behind him.  
  
"Duo... I'm glad you're awake." He said.  
  
"Fuck you..." I spat out; fuck I hate him.  
  
He smirked and analized me with interest... holy shit that look he is giving me is starting to sicken me!  
  
"Beautiful..." He smiled at me.  
  
"Fuck you... don't even get any fucking ideas, man! Unlike the movies, I wont hesitate to blow your fucking head off if you try to touch me..." I bit my lip with anger and hatred.  
  
"But remember this... we're not in the movies... and there are no heroes... and pain is real..." He smirked and pulled something out of his pocket.  
  
I felt pain rip through my body. My body collapsed to the ground and my muscles kept twitching as I struggled to breathe, to think, just to get up... he came down to where I was and knelt in front of me. I looked up hatefully into his flaming eyes... bastard!  
  
"Go to hell..." I said soullessly.  
  
"It's right here Duo... and soon nothing will be except hell..." He said and ran a hand threw my hair.  
  
"That's bullshit..." I replied to that.  
  
"You'll see Duo... I'll show you... there is a killer inside that I want to meet..." He snickered.  
  
"Oh you'll meet him... shingami will come for you soon enough..." I threatened him.  
  
"Good Duo... that's what I want... the murderer of the innocent... you will be my instrument... and you will bring my hell..." the bastard whispered.  
  
I wanted to mutilate him... first I'd strap him to the ceiling... put gashes on his body... collect the blood that fell, put vinegar on his wounds... let him stay there and hang for a few hours... come back with a dozen or two flesh eating ants... put them in zippy bags... put them on his hands, making sure they are secure... some staples may be needed to keep them in place... record his screams on tape... let him suffer for 2.5 hours... gag him... turn out all lights and play his screams over and over for 4 hours in the dark... then take off bags... take and remaining parts of his hands and place them in peroxide... cut valuable part of him but leave it hanging by a bit of skin... then make him drink his own blood and then dump him in acid... Oh... damn... I got carried away there didn't I...  
  
"You'll die... I'll make sure of it." I said in a deadly tone.  
  
"Now, now my shingami... you shouldn't say things like that... or things might happen to the one you love..." He smirked at me.  
  
I glared at him but didn't say anything... I swear if he did anything to Heero I will make him regret it faster than you can say eunich!  
  
"Where's Heero?!" I requested from him.  
  
"We just had to get him ready for tonight's mission... you both are gonna do me a little favor..." He informed me.  
  
"I'd rather die!" I flamed.  
  
"Yes... but would you rather Heero die because of you?" I played his hand.  
  
I said nothing. He gave me a self-satisfied smirk.  
  
"I thought so... I'll leave you here until I want you... goodbye Duo." He got up and left me alone in the room.  
  
That asshole! What am I going to do? I need to figure a way to get Heero and I out of here... I refuse to let him use us as his puppets! I got up and sat thoughtfully in the corner. What the hell am I going to do... I rested my head back and stared at the ceiling blankly, hoping that something would come to me... nothing. I sighed... what the hell to do...  
  
Author: Hey... hope you liked, I'll try and update soon... sorry for the descriptive violence there... uh... don't kill me for it... hehehe... byez... 


	12. Chapter 12

Author: I know I haven't updated in quite a while... I had this whole chappie done already but then my computer crashed (twice!) and I lost it... but here it is and I changed the way things were going to happen in this chappie, hopefully for the best... . ENJOY!!!

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The stars flew by slowly as I sat there by the window watching the nothingness outside that I belonged to. I found Heero now, someone who loves me, but there was this hell that I had to bring him into. I hated myself for it. I was Shinigami, shouldn't I be able to do something? I looked out at the deserted streets of the brainwashed colony.  
  
'They're going to start a war. More death and destruction... shouldn't I be happy? I am the god of death so wouldn't I prefer everything to be one big battle? Or maybe I... maybe the god of death should be no longer? I couldn't become the murderer again, could I? Would that make me the same as Him?' I thought to myself. I punched the bulletproof glass with my fist.  
  
'I won't the bidding of some mad jackass!' I thought angrily to myself.  
  
My mind wandered back to Father Maxwell. I had decided to become the god of death after they all died, but can I really become Shinigami once more?  
  
"Duo?" Heero's voice came from the doorway.  
  
"Heero?" I said as I turned to look at the perfect soldier.  
  
I almost sprung up from my seat and ran over to my chocolate-haired dessert, almost jumping into his arms.  
  
"Duo? What..." Heero began to ask before I cut him off.  
  
"That bastard was here! He said he would hurt you if I didn't do whatever he wants me to do and kill whoever he wants to die." I rambled to his shirt as I clung onto him.  
  
"Duo... it's okay. I said I'd get us out of this and I'm not going to let you down; ever." He reassured me softly as he wrapped his arms securely around my waist.  
  
Tears burned my cheeks as I fell into my deepening sadness. I knew he would never let me down, but I had let him down! My body protested against my will to keep under control. I cried as silently as I could manage, my tears stubbornly flowing down from my face and onto my shirt. Heero looked into my eyes as if he was wondering what exactly I felt and he brushed away the tears on my cheek with his calloused but gentle hand. His faced neared mine slowly and I melted into his kiss. I enjoyed the warmth of his mouth, his tongue exploring all that it could. During the war Heero had seemed so cold and distant from me, but now... I rested my head against his chest after the passionate kiss. Heero rubbed my back softly to comfort me as I tried to numb my mind as much as possible. I didn't want to think about the horrible situation both of us were forced into or the errors I made that may have cost the world its peace. My head finally felt fuzzy and my knees weak; my only support was Heero's strong body.  
  
"Heero. I love you." I whispered softly as I looked up into his softened blue eyes.  
  
My eyes closed as I felt myself dropping slowly away.  
  
"Duo!" I heard his worried plea.  
  
I didn't know what was going on... I guess darkness was coming for me like I always knew it would. I passed out cold, forgetting all my worries.

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Author: Sorry to tease you like that... Muhaha... I know it was incredibly short but I'm incredibly busy... please forgive. I'll try and update really soon though. Eh... Hope you liked . 


	13. Chapter 13

Author: I know I left you all hanging with the last chapter. Sorry about that. I'm making it up to you right now though. Heh. Enjoy cause Shinigami is comming back soon.

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Heero saw the evil bastard as he walked through the door. His Duo was lying on the floor motionless and all Heero knew was that it was his fault! Heero pounced like a tiger, giving the sadistic madman a hard blow to his face.  
  
"What the hell did you do?!" Heero shouted after grabbing the annoyed and bloody psychopath.  
  
"He'll be fine." He said before wiping the blood from his mouth and detaching himself from the angry Japanese boy.  
  
"He better be or I'll..." Heero started to threaten him.  
  
"You'll do what? The fact is, you are my key to Duo and I control you both. You will help me bring out Shinigami, you will serve me, and you will hand me the new world order on a silver platter." He smirked at the angry Gundam pilot.  
  
"I'll never let you!" Heero's words trembled, every syllable accentuated with hate.  
  
"You wont have any choice. In fact, you won't remember a thing about this after I'm done with you. Then I can use you as a bargaining chip in order to force the god of death; _my_ god of death to do anything I want him to. _Anything_..." The lunatic said spitefully.  
  
Heero couldn't help himself from showing the overwhelming fear he fear for himself and Duo. Heero wasn't one to go down without a fight however, and a fight was exactly what the object of his hatred would get!  
  
"Rot in hell bastard!" Heero said and leapt onto the man, knocking him to the ground.  
  
"Goodbye Heero. It's been fun. I'll take _really_ good care of Duo, don't worry." He said to the dark-haired boy.  
  
A wave of electricity coursed hotly though Heero's veins and the hero screamed in agony. Every part of his body burned like fire but he knew that he had to do something. Heero grabbed onto his prey once again, determined to do everything within his power to stop him. The hated conqueror laughed darkly at the boy's failing but persistent attempts at stopping him. Heero managed to grab a hold of the man's shirt but it only tore when the bastard got to his feet.  
  
"Heh... I will miss your enthusiasm Heero. Even you have your limits though. Goodbye." The man chuckled.  
  
Heero could feel the surge in energy. His whole body was frying from the inside as all his muscles spasmed.  
  
'I have... to concentrate!' Heero thought as he took the piece of cloth he had torn from his enemy's shirt and tucked it in his pocket.  
  
Luckily this was unnoticed as the evil man called for his men. A few seconds later people came rushing in and grabbed Heero to take him away.  
  
'This is it. Goodbye for now Duo.' Heero thought before he blackened out, allowing himself to be taken away.  
  
Duo and the man were then left alone in the quiet white room. The satisfied world dominator kneeled down beside the chestnut-haired god and ran his cold white hand through Duo's hair.  
  
'And now you're all mine.' The maniac smiled menacingly while looking down at the gundam boy.

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Author: Sorry that wasn't longer. I'll try and update again soon. Till then please please please review! If you wanna see the god of death resurrected, REVIEW!!! Thanks... . 


	14. Chapter 14

Author: Hey, here is the next chappie. For some reason I don't think chapter 13 showed up on sigh Well, hopefully when I post this everything will work out. But in this chappie, Duo wakes up but is the god of death ready to kill for Heero's safety?

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'Heero?' Duo thought weakly.  
  
The beautiful gundam pilot felt the ground beneath him as horrible reality came knocking on his mental door. Duo felt someone beside him and he hoped for it to be Heero; he needed it to be, but when the handsome boy opened his eyes, all that he found was a pair of red eyes.  
  
"Glad to have you back Duo." The longhaired idiot smirked.  
  
"What... where is... Heero?" I managed to say, my vocal cords not wanting to work.  
  
"He's alive. For now anyways. You see we dropped him off at the hospital where Sally Po works. When she finds him, the predictable doctor will find that Heero has no memory of ever being here. The last thing he will remember is being at the hospital talking to you." The sadistic man told Duo.  
  
"Why?" The boy with braided hair asked.  
  
"Because you have to do everything I say or Heero will die. The best part is that he wont know he is in danger so there is no possible way that anyone will ever know that I'm forcing you to fight for me. Ingenious don't you think my puppet?" The creepy man revealed his plan.  
  
"Fuck you." Duo spat at him.  
  
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" The man asked after slapping Duo.  
  
Duo glared back at him.  
  
"Good. I don't believe I'm introduced myself yet, how thoughtless of me. My name is Akai Metsuki and I am one of the wealthiest men in the colonies. I own almost everything you could imagine, even you. The only thing I have left on my Christmas list is something that you are going to give me. The world and the colonies. Don't worry though, if you behave I may let you and your boy toy Heero live happily ever after once I'm ruler of the entire human population." Akai told Duo.  
  
Duo didn't know how to respond to that. If he didn't do Metsuki's bidding, Heero would be hurt or killed. If Duo did do what Akai wanted, Heero wouldn't remember what had gone on and think that he was just a cold- hearted killer.  
  
'What the hell can I do?' Duo thought numbly to himself.  
  
"I see you're thinking about it. That is good. In the mean time I am going to go work on the details of my world domination plot. When you're ready to get up I suggest eating something, you look very pale." The black- haired bastard joked before getting up.  
  
Duo still lye on the floor stunned by his gruesome predicament.  
  
"See you later Duo. When I want you that is." Metsuki smiled at Duo's crippling state before leaving the room.  
  
All alone the blue-eyed boy stayed where he was barely blinking. The shock was getting through his weakened mental defenses. Duo remembered the last kiss he had shared with Heero and wondered if it would be the last. How could he kill again? The battlefield had always been a place that he felt happiest in; the fast beat of battle like soothing music to him. Now though things were different and it seemed nothing would ever be the same. After a substantial time, Duo got up from the floor and started to make his way back to his room before being stopped bye Akai's right hand man.  
  
"You have a mission to complete. You have to get suited up right now." He said forcefully.  
  
Duo just stared at the cold man with deadened eyes. With seeing this, Metsuki's main man lead the God of Death over to the mobile suit he was to pilot. Duo looked at the man, his eyes looking over the short brown hair and steely eyes of his instructor.  
  
"What are you waiting for?" The brown-haired bastard asked impatiently.  
  
Duo knew he had hated the steely-eyed man ever since he first saw him the day Heero and him had been taken here. The god looked over the gundam he had been given as was surprised to see a replica of his deathscythe standing right there.  
  
"How..." Duo asked in a voice that was little more than a whisper.  
  
"We have our ways. By the way, my name is Kasshoku Kami. Remember it." The shorthaired guy smiled.  
  
They were making every attempt at making Duo fight. They weren't taking out any stops but the blue-eyed god still could not understand why? Why had they chosen him to take over the world? There were plenty of other pilots, why go through all this trouble? Duo eventually got into his space suit and entered the cockpit of his gundam after the insistence of Kami. Duo's subconscious took over from then. Without even a thought, the battle instincts inside of him prepared everything. All systems were checked and in no time, the new Deathscythe was ready to kill.

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Author: Muhahaha... next chappie is gonna kick ass!!! Think back to chapter 4. It may be better! . I'm soooo excited. I think I'll incorporate a song into it. That would rock! No pun intended. Uh, but I'll get to it. Till then PLEASE REVIEW!!! I don't ask for much, just your opinion!!! Thank you! 


	15. Chapter 15

Author: Oh my god it took me forever to find a song for this!!! cries I hope I got the right one. Enjoy!

**Song lyrics**

-Sounds-

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Heero opened his eyes to find Sally Poe standing over him. The serious doctor was staring right at Heero, waiting for him to say something.  
  
"Sally?" Heero questioned, wondering what was going on.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?!" She yelled at him angrily.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Heero asked her, wondering if she was going mad.  
  
"Don't give me that. Where is Duo?" Sally tried again.  
  
"He's in our custody. Are you feeling okay?" Heero questioned.  
  
"No he's not. He escaped and you disappeared for a long time. Did you help him escape and where is he now, Heero?!" The preventer insisted.  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know where Duo is if he isn't in your custody. I don't know what you are talking about! And where am I?" Heero burst out.  
  
"You're in the hospital." She told him while trying to access him.  
  
"How did I get here?" Heero demanded an answer.  
  
"Someone found you and brought you here. You were unconscious. Can you explain this?" Sally asked and pulled out a torn piece of fabric.  
  
Heero looked at it, his eyes widening. Something about it was so familiar. The gundam pilot felt as if he should remember it but couldn't.  
  
"They found it in your pocket. It looks like very expensive material." Sally said while looking Heero's expression over.  
  
"It seems familiar. Where does it come from?" Heero asked her.  
  
"I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me." She said.  
  
"I don't know. The last thing I recall is interrogating Duo at HQ. I don't remember after that. Something tells me I should but I just..." Heero started to explain to her before his head seared with pain.  
  
Heero grabbed his head while closing his eyes tightly shut.  
  
"Heero? What's wrong?!" Sally asked, starting to worry.  
  
Dr. Po grabbed Heero's arms and tried to put them down.  
  
"My head. Something... something's wrong. Something tells me there is something wrong." Heero said while biting his bottom lip.  
  
Sally called for one of the nurses to bring her some sedatives.  
  
"Heero, hold still okay?" Sally pinned one of Heero's arms and barely managed to inject him with the medication.  
  
The pain continued for a few more minutes until the medication began to work and Heero relaxed. Everything felt blurry and hazy to Heero. The pain in his head had been numbed by he was still confused. Sally spotted some of the gundam boys outside the room looking in.  
  
"Heero, you get some rest for now. I will be back later and then we can talk again. Okay." Sally told her patient before leaving for outside the hospital room. Sally closed the door to the room after meeting Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei in the hall.  
  
"Did he say anything?" Wufei asked the doctor.  
  
"Not much I'm afraid." Sally replied and looked around at them.  
  
"Not even anything about Duo?" Quatre asked her hopefully.  
  
"No. I believe that Heero may have short term amnesia." She revealed to them.  
  
Quatre's eyes grew wide and Wufei looked slightly surprised.  
  
"How do you think that could have happened?" Trowa asked.  
  
"I'm not exactly sure. Possibly severe emotional trauma, though I doubt it because it is Heero. Or it could be from something unnatural." She told them.  
  
"Like what?" Wufei asked her.  
  
"He could have taken a blow to the head but we haven't found anything to suggest that. The only explanation I can come up with is that someone erased his memory." Sally informed them of her theory.  
  
"But why would anyone do that?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Maybe he knew or saw something that someone didn't want anyone to know." Trowa suggested.  
  
"But that doesn't make sense. They would have just killed Heero. Why keep him alive?" Wufei addressed them.  
  
The four of them thought on Wufei's statement for a little while.  
  
"Do you think it has something to do with Duo?" Quatre asked them all.  
  
"I don't doubt it. I found this in Heero's pocket." Sally held up the piece of ripped cloth.  
  
"A piece of cloth?" Trowa looked at it puzzled.  
  
"Can I see it?" Quatre asked before taking it from Sally.  
  
The blonde gundam pilot examined everything about it; texture, color, and weight. The three other people in the hall stared at him until Quatre looked up and gave it back to Sally.  
  
"It is a very rare and expensive fabric. Only the richest people on earth or the colonies could buy this." Quatre explained to them.  
  
"That is certainly odd. How would Heero have a torn piece in his pocket?" Trowa asked himself.  
  
"I'm not sure but it is safe to say that Heero was in the company of a sadistic wealthy man." Sally said.  
  
"Sadistic?" Quatre wondered.  
  
"There were burns on his body that suggested he was electrocuted multiple times, especially on his left arm." Sally informed them of the gundam patient's injuries.  
  
"Some man wealthy enough to own such an expensive suit must have gotten Duo and Heero. He then must have let Heero go. But before that Heero must have got in a fight with the rich guy and torn a piece of his clothing off." Quatre tried to figure out what happened.  
  
"How did you figure that?" Sally asked quite astonished with Quatre's reasoning skills.  
  
"Well, the only reason Heero would get that angry to fight with someone was if one of us was in trouble. Duo must have been with him. Heero could have seen Duo escaping and followed him. Someone then could have captured Duo. Heero then probably tried to stop them and got captured also." Quatre said nonchalantly.  
  
"That is entirely possible. Maybe even probable." Sally commended him.  
  
"Now all we need to do for now is find out who buys expensive clothing such as this." Trowa said.  
  
"Good. You three get to it and I'll try and help Heero remember anything else." Sally told them the agenda.  
  
"Alright. Lets go then." Wufei said.  
  
The three Gundam boys left to work on it. Doctor Po then turned back and looked in on her resting dark-haired patient. 

-------------  
  
Duo's POV  
  
I don't want to do this! I don't want to kill! I've caused so much pain already! It looks like I have no choice though. I refuse to let Heero die because of me. I'm sorry Father Maxwell; I've failed you. I've taken revenge for you but now all I am is a murderer. Sister Catherine would be so disappointed in me. I fought for peace but now I'm taking it away. I wish I had never been born. That way no one would have suffered because of me. This is just like operation meteor and I'm going to become the hero of a massacre after all. I just wanted to break down and cry right there.  
  
**A man is crying, takes me to a certain place, which I don't often mind. You see a family walking. Always thinking of being somewhere else in time. So I fall face down in a rut, I can't seem to get out of.**   
  
Metsuki's ugly face appeared on my screen.  
  
**Please wake me up.**   
  
"Hello Duo." Akai Metsuki greeted me.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" I asked him.  
  
"What would I have a God of Death do?" He smirked at me.  
  
I stared at him with daggers. I swear I'll get that bastard back some day!  
  
**Please give me some of me back. The feelings I had.**   
  
"I'll give you instructions as you go along don't worry. You'll be able to kill as many people you want my Shinigami." He said with spite.  
  
"Can I kill _you_?" I said darkly.  
  
His smile disappeared. One point for me! I smiled innocently at him.  
  
"You had better launch now before I have the urge to kill someone. Don't worry though, I'd never kill _you_." He smirked before disappearing from my screen.  
  
That satanic bastard! Two points for him I guess. I heard the launch count down as I got ready to go. Here goes my sanity.  
  
"Launching in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..." A voice came from the speaker in my mobile suit.  
  
I was launched into the cold depths of outer space, wondering what exactly they wanted me to destroy. Heero, I wish I had your strength. I'm nothing but a weak little child.  
  
**Sometimes I wish I could be strong like you. It doesn't matter. Each time I wake I'm somehow feeling the truth, I can't handle.**   
  
I fingered the cross I wore around my neck and remembered telling Father Maxwell the only god I believed in was the god of death because I had not seen any miracles but I have seen plenty of death. This cross is all that I have left of them; I won't stain it with the innocent blood on my hands. I took it off and placed it in the pocket of my suit. Now Shinigami will come for me.  
  
"Duo." Kasshoku called for my attention.  
  
I saw that he had just popped up on my screen.  
  
"You are to completely destroy the following targets. I have put them up on the other screen. Kill everyone who gets in your way." Kami instructed me.  
  
"More world leaders I see." I said expressionlessly.  
  
"Yes." He answered before getting off my screen.  
  
It makes sense that they would want me to get rid of the world leaders. I feel a little better now that I know I wont be killing innocent people. It is just like before. I breathed a slight sigh of relief. Lets get this over with then. I could help but smile slightly. Maybe this wont be so bad. I get to kill the dirty selfish world leaders and then, when I have the opportunity, I will get more than even with that bastard Metsuki. Finally things were leaning in my favor a little more.  
  
**Let's get this party started.**   
  
I programmed my Deathscythe to go to entry point seven and then begin re- entry into the earth's atmosphere. I felt Shinigami trying to take over me from within. To be honest it felt good. I'm sick of trying to control myself!  
  
**I'm sick of being you. You make me feel insane. We don't give to you.**   
  
I don't want to hold in my anger any longer and be weak.  
  
**Let's get this party started.**   
  
I watched space fly by me quickly; the blurry lights outside like the line that separated Duo Maxwell from the God of Death.  
  
**You make me feel insane.**   
  
When I used to fight I felt sane and now I would feel all right once again.  
  
**I want to be the one to make myself sane.**   
  
I waited for two hours alone until reaching the Earth's atmosphere. The whole time I tried to clear my mind and I found with every second I lost Duo and became Shinigami.  
  
**Time is ticking; it makes me feel content with what I have inside.**   
  
The Deathscythe ploughed though the atmosphere and I monitored my new gundam to make sure it didn't break up or melt down from the heat of re- entry.  
  
**Constant paranoia surrounds me.**   
  
I switched on the thrusters as we broke through. Now I need to go in low under the radar and attack. It was night at my target's location. They will all be at a conference discussing unimportant things. All they probably talk about is how much money they have. Their greed ends tonight. I smiled maliciously, plotting in my head how I would destroy everything. I'm almost there. I prepared all my weapons. Finally the target was in site, but so was some extra opposition I had not counted on. Fifty mobile suits were all there guarding my target. This is going to take a little while. I increased my speed and took out two at the same time with my scythe. Now there is only about forty-eight left to go. In less than a few seconds I was surrounded by naive guards.  
  
"Surrender now or we will be forced to fire." One of them patched a communication to me.  
  
"Okay. Then fire." I laughed and shot at them, taking some of them out.  
  
There were still a lot to go. I started thinking up creative ways to destroy everything. Nothing came to me so I just sliced a few Gundams in half. I love explosions. I picked up one suit with my free hand and began crushing the neck of it.  
  
"I'm giving all of you one chance to live. Leave now and I promise not to send you all to hell." I offered them.  
  
"Never!" One of them replied.  
  
"They always want to do it the hard way." I sighed.  
  
**Everyone I see is out to get me.**   
  
Not that I mind of course. I smiled as I threw the mobile suit into another, causing a huge explosion. Heh... fireworks. Wait! I saw the leaders trying to escape. I can't let that happen! I yelled and slashed up about eight or nine mobile suits before charging for the escaping self- appointed diplomats. Where do you think you're going? I shot up the building as I was being fired upon. One of the enemy mobile suits knocked me down. He will pay!  
  
**So I fall face down in a rut I can't seem to get out of.**   
  
A communication came over to me from the suit that had shoved me down. I looked at the man and didn't ever to expect what I saw. He looks just like Father Maxwell. I felt my breath catch in my chest.  
  
**Please wake me.**   
  
It can't be! It has got to be some kind of dream or something. I looked at him stunned.  
  
"Who ever you are, surrender now. I don't want to be forced to kill you." The man said.  
  
"Father... Father Maxwell?" I tried to ask, unable to breathe.  
  
"I am Lutienant Ichibu. Surrender now and we will not destroy you." He told me.  
  
It wasn't him. What was wrong with me? It didn't even sound like him but he reminds me so much of Father Maxwell. I just stared at him for a while without saying anything.  
  
**Please give me some of me back; the feelings I had.**   
  
Oh god. Shinigami please come for me.  
  
**You make me feel insane.**   
  
I've got to end this.  
  
"I don't have the liberty to surrender. Now leave, I don't want to kill you." I told him coldly.  
  
"What do you mean..." He tried to ask before I cut the transmission off.  
  
**You make me feel insane!**   
  
Heero I'm sorry, but this is the only way.  
  
**Sometimes I wish I could be strong like you.**   
  
Everyone will die! I started fighting off them all. There were still about thirty left and they were all coming for me together.  
  
**It doesn't matter.**   
  
My head swam in a numb red sea of bloody pain. Shinigami would take everyone eventually.  
  
**Each time I wake I'm somehow feeling the truth I can't handle.**   
  
Now I will bring an end to this.  
  
**Let's get this party started.**   
  
I was caught in a headlock by one of the mobile suits. Another went to hit me in the mid section but I shot at them before taking down my captor. He was still there; the one that looked like Father Maxwell. What the hell is he still doing here? I told him to get away! I broke threw a bunch of suits until I got to him. If he wouldn't leave, I would make him. I managed to grab him ever though he struggled against me.  
  
"I told you to get away from here!" I shouted at him through my screen.  
  
"I won't abandon my fellow solders!" He yelled at me angrily.  
  
"You're leaving, now!" I yelled and threw him as far as I could out of the way.  
  
The communication ended. I wont let him die again, even if it isn't him. I don't want to be Shinigami any longer!  
  
**I'm sick of being you. You make me feel insane. We don't give to you.**   
  
And now I am going to finish this once and for all. I made my way toward the target, not caring when the remaining fighters tried to stop me.   
  
**Let's get this party started. You make me feel insane.**   
  
I have to destroy everything here, including myself. I stopped walking and opened the door to my cockpit. Their firing stopped; maybe they thought I was surrendering. I'm not surrendering to them though. I'm leaving my way.  
  
**I want to be the one...  
**  
I got out with my self-destruct remote in my hand. I remember when Heero tried this. I'm glad it didn't work. Heero I'm sorry but everything is gone now. Maybe it is better this way. Now you will never remember all the pain I caused you. I held my death in front of me. That last time I had tried to end it Heero had come. I kind of hoped to see Heero come running to stop me. That isn't how it would happen though. One... Two... Three...  
  
-Click-  
  
**...to make myself sane.**   
  
"Here ends the reign of Shinigami." I whispered before I felt the explosion consume everything from behind me.  
  
--------------  
  
Regular POV  
  
"I knew he would do that." Metsuki smiled.  
  
The madman had watched the whole thing on his giant screen.  
  
"Go pick him up and bring him to me." Akai ordered Kami.  
  
"Yes sir." He said before leaving promptly.  
  
"My little god, did you think you could get out that easily?" Akai said to himself before taking a sip of red wine.  
  
The madman laughed wickedly at Duo's pain.  
  
'I guess my pet needs some obedience lessons. No matter, I have plenty of time to teach him.' Akai smiled from his thoughts.  
  
------------  
  
Sally was alone with Heero in his hospital room checking the equipment. Heero slept deeply though not peacefully. Sally was surprised when Heero yelled out in his sleep.  
  
"Heero?" Sally asked, taking a small step back.  
  
Sally got no answer and concluded he was having a nightmare.  
  
"You bastard! Don't hurt..." Heero yelled out in his sleep.  
  
'He must be remembering something!' Sally thought excitedly as she waited in silence.  
  
"Duo... I swear... I wont let him..." Heero whispered before taking a deep breath.  
  
A period of silence swept through the room until Heero finally said more.  
  
"I won't let... him hurt... you. I promise... don't worry Duo... I'll protect you." Heero whispered lovingly in his sleep.  
  
'Oh my god.' Sally though as her eyes widened.

* * *

Author: Thirteen pages!!! Yeah! Hope you enjoyed!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thanks... Muhahaha.... Till next chappie! 


	16. Chapter 16

Author: It's been a while. But I haven't lost my morbid side. Heh. I don't wanna give any of this away so enjoy… grins evilly

Song Lyrics 

It was so quiet there, so very quiet; deathly quiet in fact. Only a constant tone was heard through the cold room. The sound of a still heart echoed though the room as the doctor pronounced the time of death. The nurse carefully packed up the defibrillator with the quiet acceptance of death that she had gained from seeing many young soldiers die. The sheet was pulled up over the tattered young boy's motionless face. A new presence in the room seemed to stir up some noise in the previously silent place. Everyone but the new arrival was driven from the room. The man hand something tightly grasped in his hand and a firm, cruel smile. The man we know as Akai walked over to the body and uncovered it. The blood had begun to coagulate from being exposed to oxygen. The boy's face was smeared with it. Akai called in Kami to take the still body before they left quickly, an evil smile on the maniac's faces.

--------------

Heero bolted upright in his hospital bed, dripping with sweat. He had seen something. Something was wrong but he couldn't remember what it was. He wiped the sweat off his face before he turned to look at Sally who was sitting right by his bed. The expression on her face told Heero that she knew what he had been dreaming. Sally knew.

"He… Heero…" Sally managed to speak.

She was wide-eyed. Heero could remember things that hadn't been there before, but he didn't remember everything.

"What happened? Why is this in my head?" Heero asked.

"Was that… real? Did that happen?" Sally breathed shallowly.

"I…" Heero paused and bit his lip. "I don't know."

"What do you remember?" Sally tried to distance herself from being emotionally involved with this as a doctor could only accomplish.

"Duo. I remember Duo and some strange place. And I remember feeling…" Heero stopped abruptly.

Heero had felt many things. He had felt strong hatred but he had also felt something else. It was a very strange feeling. Heero could not understand why this all was in his head. It couldn't have happened. The perfect soldier would of course remember something important.

"It could be hallucinations caused by medication but it could also have really happened. We don't know where you have been after all." Sally said with the emotionless tone of a doctor.

Heero nodded in silent recognition. Heero fixed his stare on a point on the floor. Something nagged at him from the back of his mind. A memory hit him as he suddenly felt people dragging him out of a room and there was someone in that room. Who was it? Why had he been there though? The pain from before returned and Heero grabbed his head.

"Why is this happening to me? Why can't I remember?" Heero gritted his teeth together and shut his eyes tightly.

"Hold on, I'll go get some pain killers." Sally stood up.

"No!" Heero grabbed her arm tightly to stop her. "Don't. I need to know what happened. I can take pain. If you make it go away then I wont know what happened."

"Okay Heero." Sally said weakly.

Heero released his grip and tried to make the pain dull any way that he could. The dark-haired boy tried to concentrate on what he remembered, hoping that more would suddenly be added. Sally noticed someone at the glass, trying to get her attention. Noin's stern face told the doctor that there was something important to discuss. With one last look at her patient she left the room and met the preventer outside.

"Duo was spotted." Noin told her.

"What?" Dr. Poe said with great interest.

"He attacked a diplomatic compound. He managed to destroy it and kill many of the ambassadors that had been making a peace treaty between two of the nearby countries." Noin said.

"Hmm… so Duo is really gone over to the other side." Sally said grimly.

"There is more. One of the guards was spared by Duo. Apparently Duo thought he was someone named Father Maxwell. He was also rambling about other things. The guard also said that Duo told him that he didn't have the liberty to stop." Noin informed her.

"Oh god. So… Do we know where Duo is now?" Sally asked.

Noin bit her lip and looked down at the white tile.

"Duo self-destructed. The recorder of the guard's cockpit confirms it. He was taken to the hospital after and doctors tried to save his life but…" Noin paused. "Duo died from severe blood loss."

Sally stood ash-faced. Duo was dead. She didn't want to believe it. Why would he?

"There's one more thing." Noin tried to break up the silence.

Sally looked up to her, an apparent look of shock and pain on her face.

"Someone came and took his body from the hospital." Noin informed her of the odd occurance.

"What?" Sally said, unsure that she had heard right.

"Two men came and carried his body right out of the hospital." Noin repeated.

Sally was plunged into deep thought. All of this was so puzzling. Why would someone take his body? What did Duo mean by that he couldn't stop? Maybe… just maybe… Sally's head darted to look at Heero.

"That's it!" Sally exclaimed. "Someone must have been manipulating Duo. There's no other explanation."

"What?" Preventer Noin was now on the receiving end of the disturbing revelations.

"Have you told anyone else?" Sally questioned.

"No." She answered.

"Now how the hell am I going to tell everyone this?!" Sally slammed her fist into the wall. "Duo's dead because we couldn't recognize that someone was manipulating him!"

Sally had finally succumbed to the anger that she had been repressing. Sally looked in to the struggling gundam pilot that sat on the hospital bed in pain. At least Heero wouldn't have to remember anymore. The doctor sighed bitterly, trying to regain her cold exterior.

--------------

Duo's POV 

**Where am I? I can't move my arms. I can't see. Am I blind? Was I always blind? I tried to speak but I couldn't hear anything. Who am I? I'm someone. How did I get here? I'm cold. I rolled over and fell shoulder first onto the ground. My shoulder stung as the initial shock wore off. A liquid was spreading over my arm quickly. Tears stung at my eyes. I'm Duo. My name is Duo. But who is that? I have to know. Why am I here? Where the hell am I? I struggled to get up. I couldn't find anything to lean up against though. I could hear someone laughing. Why are they laughing? I struggled harder to get up, my legs felt heavy as I tried to stand on them. I stopped to trying and figure out where the laughing was coming from.** **I started walk towards it but nothing was there in front of me. Nothing. I felt arms grab me and someone pulled a cloth off of my face. I could open my eyes. It was…**

"YOU! I know you!" I yelled in surprise and backed away from him.

I know him. How do I know him? I hate him. I know I hate him! My head started to spin with new things starting to rush into my head.

"Duo." He smiled.

"Get AWAY!" I yelled and kept backing up.

"You screwed up my life! Fuck you! Get AWAY!!!" I screamed.

"Come Duo. It's time for you to go to your room… don't worry… I'll come and visit you later." He smiled evilly.

Oh god… those eyes… what's his name… I can't remember his name… He came toward me and grabbed a hold of me. I tried to shake loose but I was too weak. I was in a weird jacket that wouldn't let me move my arms… a straight jacket? He called in two big guys dressed in white suits to come and get me. I can't let them take me! I stuggled to get away… I need help… someone help… I need a hero… a hero… hero… that word sounds so special… do I know a hero? It's worth a shot.

"Hero! Hero!" I screamed from someone, anyone.

"You remember…" The man questioned me with a slight shock in his voice.

I didn't say anything. Whatever that lunatic was talking about, I wouldn't allow him to know that I didn't have any idea what the hell was going on.

"Take him to his room." The red-eyed dumbass said.

I tried to resist but they won out in the end. There I was dragged out into a large common room where lots of people were hanging out. Where am I? I looked around curiously. There were some games, couches, something that flashed pictures… so many things. Rooms lined the walls on the left side. There were many doors and only one window that was on them. Where is this place… What the hell is going on? Eventually the two big guys in white stopped at a door, opened it, and then threw me into the room. The room had a mattress and everything was covered in squishy white material. I turned around just as then slammed the door shut. After a few minutes starting out the window I went over to the bed and sat on the mattress, almost falling over. What the hell is happening to me? Where am I? Why am I here? Who can help me? Is everything like this? I'm so… confused. I searched the room with my eyes, finding nothing except… a picture box on the ceiling… why is there a picture box on the ceiling? Are they supposed to be? Maybe… Or maybe it's as out of place as I am… or is this where I belong?

----------

**Heero's POV**

This is insane… What the hell happened? Where is Duo? What _happened_? I was still clutching my head at is slowly numbed into a pain-filled stupor. I've got to get outta here. I've got to figure out what happened… I got up and searched for my clothes. I finally found them and put them on before Sally walked into the room with a pained expression on her face. I looked at her wondering what was bothering her so much.

"Where are you going?" Sally asked softly.

"I'm going to go and find out what happened." I told her.

"You can't…" She looked around the room nervously.

"Why?" I asked her, starting to worry.

"Duo destroyed a diplomatic compound and…" She stopped, not wanting to go on.

"And what else?" I questioned, hesitantly.

"Heero… Duo's dead." She barely managed to speak.

Duo… My heart froze in my chest. Duo's… he's _dead_…


	17. Chapter 17

Author: Heh. I don't wanna give any of this away so enjoy… grins evilly

**Song Lyrics **

Heero's Pov

Self-detonated… Duo… self-detonated… and these feelings… for Duo... My god… my god of death. I screamed before I ran out. He can't be dead… HE CAN'T!!! I stopped and fell to my knees. He can't be dead. Cold rivers streamed down from my eyes. This… this has never happened before. I never bled this way… I never cried when someone died… but now…

"WHY NOW?!" I screamed and slammed my fists against the ground.

My body ached and I felt so numb as I choked on the pain… this new pain and sorrow… I can't handle this… I can't… This isn't real… it will go away… I shivered as I stared blankly at the white tile, my muscles aching. A hand on my shoulder… Duo… please be Duo… I fell into the lap of the person… Duo… it was all a dream… just a bad dream… my eyes still stared numbly needing this to be true. I need this to be so… let me look up and see his Cheshire grin and braided hair…

"Heero…" Her voice cut though my hopes.

"No…" I whispered hollowly.

There were faint footsteps coming up from behind me. I felt them around me… my friends… but no Duo.

**You take away, I feel the same, All the promises you made to me you made in vain, I lost myself inside your tainted smile again**

"Duo…" My heart continued to shatter every moment I breathed.

This feeling… Quatre grabbed me from behind in a tearful embrace. I want Duo… My head was whirling as I glanced Trowa, Wufei, Noin, and Sally behind me.

**Cause you can't feel my ANGER, You can't feel my pain, You can't feel my torment, Driving me insane, I can't fight these feelings they will bring you pain, You can't take away, Make me whole again**

I want to die.

Duo's Pov

I must have fallen asleep… I went to rub my eyes but found myself bound. The jacket, no… my bed… my mattress in my padded room… and there are chains… The chains that now bind me. What is going on? Is this supposed to be? I stared around and saw a few things that weren't there before. Something with three long legs and a box with one glass eye is staring at me. I don't like it. I try to wriggle out of these leather straps… they are bound so tightly…

"Need some help with those?" Akai said oily from the corner of the room.

I froze at the sight of him. No… he's… I turned my head away from him. No… I don't want this… He came over to me, dropping something beside him before running his hand over my body. I cringed as he traveled lower. My breathing became shallow with fear… is there no one out there? No one that will come? Is this my part? Is this my job? What do I do?

"From the moment I saw you… I knew I would have you for myself. My little god…" Akai peeled my shirt off with the aid of a knife.

I felt the dull edge of the blade run up and down my chest.

"No… Stop…" I begged.

I'm not sure what is going to happen but something tells me it isn't going to be fun… I struggled against my restraints.

"If you're going to be difficult, we can do things the hard way. Actually, I prefer it." Akai revealed his true nature.

He turned and retrieved something from his briefcase that I soon found out was a gag. The cloth clung to my dry tongue as I tried to get it out.

"And for a little more…" He turned on the screen above me with a remote.

I looked up, stunned at what I saw… who is that… what are they doing? The blonde-haired girl… I know her… and the boy in her lap… my eyes froze, I can't breathe…

I feel betrayed, Stuck in your ways 

"I thought you would like this picture… As you can see, Heero is alive and well… and apparently forgotten about you already… such a pitty. He never did like you, Relina is the one for him." Akai's lips grazed my neck.

I feel Akai working on my body… inch by inch but I'm frozen… the fire on my chest, and the fresh burns cause me pain… but this… what is he doing? Heero and Relina… who… why?.. I don't know this… this can't be… I'm so fucking confused! What the hell is this? WHAT IS IT?! Heero and Relina… Heero and Relina… what the fuck?! I struggled to break loose, I need to know who they are… I need to know who he is… his name is Heero… and I need him, who ever he is… I need to know why this hurts… why! I felt the needle being injected into me and Akai's weight on top of me and I noticed my clothes discarded next to me on the floor. Oh god… no… NO! I bucked wildly, trying to get him off of me but he remained smiling on top of me. Get the fuck off! I tried to scream at him through my gag. I saw the fresh red burns on my chest on top of old scars, the smell of my burnt flesh filled me. And the thing in his hand… the shiny thing… I've seen that thing before… so sharp and small… and for me.

**And you rip me apart, With the brutal things you say, I can't deal with shit anymore, I just look away**

"Don't worry Duo, we still have four more hours to play." He smiled at me before reaching for my chemically hardened body part.

I whimpered as tears leaked from my eyes… Heero… have you betrayed me?

**Cause you can't feel my ANGER, You can't feel my pain, You can't feel my torment, Driving me insane, I can't fight these feelings they bring only pain, You can't take away, Make me whole again, Mudshovel**

Heero's Pov

The night took me into its darkness as I sat in the hospital room. Everyone is gone now that it is the pre-dawn hours of the night. Duo… I stared at the floor coldly. I need him… I need Duo. I mindlessly trace the lines on the floor as I sit here numb with pain. His apartment! I got up mechanically and threw on some clothes I found. Out the two-story window I went with ease, not concerned with being caught.

**You take away, I feel the same, All these promises, You promised only pain, If you take away, And leave me with nothing again…**

Duo… why did you? Why did you leave me? I was running though the streets now, all I need to do is find it. The wind was cold and harsh as I ran. Duo… finally after an hour I found where he had been… his apartment… we were at his apartment… I ran up the steps and busted though the door. It was dark inside from the last time I was here… We had both slept on the bed… what happened after that? What happened?! I searched around frantically for any clues… then here I found it… the clue on a piece of paper…

Dear Heero,

I'm sorry I put you through all of this, I love you and I would like nothing more to spend this night and every night wrapped in your arms. I can't though, and I'm sorry. I hope you understand why I have to go. I have to protect you and everyone else. Goodbye Heero.

Love,

Duo

Oh god… I sunk down to the floor against the wall with the goodbye note clutched in my hands. I clutched my knees and buried my head in my arms as I cried for the only person I've ever loved.

**'Cause you can't feel my ANGER, You can't feel my pain, You can't feel my torment, Driving me insane, I can't fight these feelings they will bring you pain, You can't take away, Make me whole again…**

"Duo…" I choked back some tears as I whispered his name.

Duo's Pov

Is it over? I opened my eyes in an attempt to see what was going on. The pain… I felt the burns, razor cuts, bruises, whip marks, acid holes, teeth marks, and such that mapped every part of my broken body. The restraints were gone now and I knew my wrists were bleeding from struggling against them. No more… I'm gonna kill him… I'm going to torture him and make him feel this pain.

You will feel my anger, You will feel my pain, You will feel my torment, Driving you insane… 

The door opened and a white-coat came in. He gave me one look, pulled me up by the arm, and made me put on some clothes he brought me. I couldn't stand on my own but he insisted so I had no choice. There were the others from before, dressed just like me… I don't want to be here though. I will kill him… I will kill Akai…

**I can't fight these feelings they will bring you pain…**

"Medication…" He shoved a small plastic cup with pills in my hand.

I stared at it for quite a while without moving. I will remember… and then I will stop this.

You won't take away, I'll be whole again… 

I popped the three into my mouth and swallowed.

Mudshovel. Author: Hope you enjoyed… review and I'll update… till later… 


	18. Chapter 18

Author: I'm sorry I left you all off on such a weird place. And suddenly now I'm updating... eh. Well, there is pleanty more angst and crap to come. Hehehe... review please. Thanks .

Duo's Pov

I'm gonna break out of here. The medication... I want more than this. If they are gonna try and restrain me, they should do it right. Now I'm their fucking play toy. How the hell did I get this in life? Heh, I know... I have the bloodstains soaked into my hands to remind me. I want his blood. I want the blood of my Heero. I laughed to myself. My Heero, I know you so very well... and you betrayed me. I remember you. And you forget me, for now.

"You forgot me Heero!" I screamed as I dropped my tray and smiled.

It's been months... so many fucking months of medication and rape. After a while it kinda grows on ya though. Akai stops by and I know this hell is real. Everyone was stareing at me... they always do. And the shrink, she thinks I'm crazy. Heh... me crazy? I was fine when I got here. Now... well, sanity is boring anyways. I clutched my head. They've been giving me more pills. Sometimes I wonder what they are, but it doesn't really matter. It's nice to hallucinate people. At least then I can have a decent conversation.

"Come on Duo." A graying white coat took me by the arm.

Haha, hoho, hehe... We're off to the funny farm. Oh wait, that's right... I'm here. I started to giggle for no reason. Damn, those pills are really good. I guess Akai has to make it look like I really belong here. He could do that without the medication though. I wonder where I'm going... maybe I'm gonna go see the shrink. Yeah! What fun... I started walking in zig-zags until the orderly guy made me stop. Wow, we're here, what a shock.

"Get in there." He pushed me into her office before closing the door behind me.

I wobbled in and saw the dear doctor.

"Good Morning Duo." The dark-haired woman said.

I tried to focus my vision but I had a little bit of trouble seeing or standing for that matter. I let my weight drop onto something soft and cushy. I sunk into the couch that had been my confessional for the past few months.

"How are you feeling today?" She started the interrogation.

I didn't answer and just let myself look out the beautiful window to the outside. All these months had passed and here was the only place I could look out and see the outside. The sky seemed to be a cloudy grey and it was obviously a raining day. The artificial rain poured down as I continued watching. The silent doctor was apparently watching my reaction to the outside world intently.

"Duo... tell me about Shinigami." She asked me.

I continued staring out, my face now expressionless. Shinigami... I'm Shinigami. We are the same... what the hell does she think I have two different personalities?

"What does Shinigami make you do?" The head doctor asked.

"Shinigami doesn't make me stay in this hell..." I whispered as I continued to stare out the window angrilly.

"As long as Shinigami tells you things that aren't real, you will remain here." She tried to explain to me.

"Unfortunately for me, they are real. Akai keeps me here as his little play thing. My life is hell and I've killed many people in the name of a freedom that I don't even have." I retorted cooly.

"No Duo... those are just the dillusions that Shinigami gives you. Shinigami isn't real, he is just in your head." She told me.

"Bullshit." I laughed for no reason.

She looked offended, too bad I don't care.

"You're not well Duo. That is why we are here to help you, now are you going to cooperate?" She asked but crossly.

"Help me? You're druging me... I'm Akai's little fuck toy, that is not a friggin dillusion!" I snapped back at her.

"Mr. Akai is a well respected man! He is the one who brought you here to get help, you should be grateful." She half shouted at me.

"Heh, that's good. Where are the cameras? Did Akai pay you off too? Or did he threaten someone you love? I know, he's screwing you too. Heh." I threw my arm over my face as I lied down.

I was laughing and crying at the same time. What a predicament. Good thing for this medicine! I continued to laugh even though it was completely silent otherwise. I felt her staring at my messy existance.

"You want to see? I'll show you all the scars he gave me. That sounds like so much fun!" I know I've completely lost it now.

I saw the shock on her face as I started stripping down right in front of her. I took off my shirt, the newest scabs that had formed now violently were torn off with my hastyness.

"Duo, what have you been doing to yourself?!" She said, shocked at my mutilated skin.

"Me? You're trying to tell me I did this? Let me point some things out to you." I began presenting each of my scars.

"These are scars from lit matches being held up to my skin. Akai liked to do that. He did it so many times. Oh, and lets not forget the whip marks that he laughed as he made. I'm not familiar with the customs of normal mental facilities but does the other places come with whips in their rooms? Maybe matches? No? Do they have restraints at the corners of the beds so the people raping you wont have to worry about getting hit?" I paused and found that I was now standing up.

I saw it, fear and shock now was inside of her. I swayed as I felt my head throbing. The blood from my opened wounds was now flowing freely over the pristine little outfit. I put my hand on my chest, ah the sight of my blood... never gets old does it? I giggled as I smeared to blood with my palm on my face.

"I am Shinigami. I am the god of death. I am trapped in a fucking mental institution where I am raped, druged, and beaten. I am suicidal, homicial, and majorly fucked in the head. I am a menace to society, a tragety of humanity, and a disgrace to everyone I know. Is there anything else you need to know, or can I go get tied down and medicated now?" I glared at her, not even bothering to blink.

Her eyes were wide with a combination of shock and horror. I'm surprised she didn't know this. Either she is a really good actor, or Akai slipped up. Whichever is case, it doesn't matter. I felt liquid drip onto my foot. The blood was running threw my fingers and falling onto the ground. Ah a puddle. I smiled. Well, this was exciting. I don't get to create a puddle of my blood on the floor of a psychiatrist's office everyday... it's more like every two weeks. Heh. I giggled to myself. Wow... the pills are really playing with my brain. I'm almost convinced I see Heero over in that corner. Heh. I swayed on the spot, eventually falling to my knees. Heero... you bastard. I love you... and you betray me... you leave me here and let him rape me. I'm such a fool. My head swam and I saw only black even though my eyes were open. Here we go again... and I passed out on the blood-soaked carpet.

Author: I hope you enjoyed. Review and I'll write more. Till then...


	19. Chapter 19

Author: Seems everyone has lost interest in my fic. –sigh- well, for those who haven't, here you go. Enjoy.

Heero's Pov

After so many months, he's here. Duo was unconscious on the hospital bed, his chestnut brown hair messed up from the time he had been away from me. I ran my hand over the wound in his arm. They had taken the device out of his arm. Mine is gone too. I remembered the scene in the hospital cafeteria when I cut it out myself. That led to an uncomfortable meeting with a psychiatrist. Duo… the things he said to the woman at the mental institution… My gun had faltered slightly while aimed at the woman when Duo showed his scars. Duo… I remember now… everything. I felt his muscles twitch beneath my fingertips; my eyes darted up to meet his…

"Duo." I breathed.

I was met with a look of pain and hatred.

"I hate you." His dried voice cracked like a whip at my soul.

I slowly got up and left, his angry eyes bearing into me with the glare of one who was betrayed. The door clicked shut behind me; I didn't want to be there. I don't want to be here. I'm a soldier; I don't need to witness any more pain that occurs when I try to help. I've known too many years like that already. But this one… hurts the most. I entered an empty room and sank to the ground, nicely hidden by a drawn curtain. Here I am, hated and in the only place I don't want to belong… just fucking wonderful. My mind wandered to the operation plans against the hostile colony. The lunatic was ready to attack the earth… the only time when I'm any good for something…

"Damn it Duo!" I shouted, rising to my feet quickly and knocking over an empty bed.

"I love you."

Author: Yeah, tell me how much this sux. Thanks. Rant all you like… I don't care anymore. sigh Well, ttyl.


	20. Chapter 20

Author: I pretty much gave up all hope on this story until I recently returned to see reviews! Now I'm gonna try and update some more. Love ya all! Enjoy.

Duo's POV

Three fucking days I've been lying here… and Heero didn't have a clue I knew about him and Relina. Damn it! I squeezed my left arm, digging in with my nails until a light, taunting pain emanated from it. Sally glared at me from the corner of the room she was doing paperwork in. I had been a nuisance to her for the past few days, not bothering to talk to her. I should have at least thanked her… but I've gotten really sick of seeing doctors who only tell me there is something wrong. Wrong… ha! What do they know about wrong? They're the innocent ones after all… and I'm just the psychotic killer. Hate me… I wish everyone would just hate me. Then I wouldn't have that sick fuck beating and raping me! I rolled over roughly, almost hoping that the IV would rip out of my arm and leave a trail of blood. Cuts I can deal with… but burns. My free hand glided under my hospital gown, feeling the ruff bandages on my chest.

"Duo." I heard Sally get up from her corner.

Her voice was softer. She came over and placed her hand on my shoulder. I shuddered at the contact. Every touch reminded me of when I was bound down, my body at the service of a vindictive rapist. My stomache churned uncomfortably and I shut my eyes tightly. My chapped lips were pressed tightly together, letting nothing in or out.

"They will all heal Duo. You will have some scars but I promise you that all the wounds on your body will be treated. Don't worry Duo, no one will look at you differently. We're your friends… Heero was worried about you too. He… he really loves you and…" Sally spoke softly to me.

I pulled my shoulder from her grasp. I gritted my teeth angrily, my voice shaky when I did speak.

"Love is just another wound… each betrayal reopening it… wider and deeper letting shallow blood spill over love's weapon." I barely breathed.

She took her neglected hand back and turned around to go slowly. Her hand grasping the door knob, pausing before speaking again.

"Your friends are here to help you. Just tell us whatever is hurting you and we'll do our best to fix it! Let us save you…" Sally almost pleaded.

My body shook with hatred and emotion.

"My hero is stained with tainted blood. My Heero is another's love." I breathlessly said, my lungs closing tightly in my chest.

There was awkward silence for a moment, I barely heard her breathe. After a few tense minutes I heard the metallic click of the door opening and a soft opening and closing sound followed. All alone in this room… all alone I belong. Only half true… alone I am… belong…

Nowhere-

Author: Sorry, short chappy. Really sad too. I just though I really should update. Please tell me what you think and if u are still interested in this fic. Thank you! 


	21. Chapter 21

**Koiame**: Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I know it's been a long time since I have updated. Gomen. It's almost 6am here, but I felt like updating a little. Think of it as a promise. I will also include a short recap to clear things up with the story since it's been a while… If you want to skip the long recap, go ahead and go to the actual chapter. Enjoy!

**Recap**: Duo, unable to find a place in the new, peaceful world order, accepted work as a hired assassin for an unknown employer. He is sent to kill world leaders, who he justifies killing by thinking that they are corrupt and would only mess up what they had all fought for. At one of the jobs, he encounters the Gundam pilots unexpectedly. Heero shoots Duo and captures him.

Duo wakes up in a hospital under the care of Sally Poe where he is interrogated on his involvement in the assassinations. Heero shows concern as Duo's actions have earned him the death penalty. Emotionally, Duo is at a precarious place. But Heero tries to get through to him, and Duo lets slip that he was working for someone. Heero later breaks out the exhausted, unconscious Duo and takes him to the apartment he had been working from. Duo awakens the next afternoon to see Heero taking care of him. There is quiet tension between the two of them.

Out of the corner of Duo's eye, he sees the contact for his employer subtly getting his attention outside below. The brown-haired shinigami makes an excuse and rushes out to meet the man. Duo receives a paper telling him to meet at a certain park after midnight. Depressed at the crushing realization that he had not actually escaped the situation, the former Gundam pilot sat outside in a stupor for a while as he contemplated what to do. Heero came out to find him as it became dark and dreary outside.

They went back and Duo made an excuse to go take a shower so he could get ready to leave to meet his end that night. But as he stood in the bathroom alone, Duo thought to himself how much easier it would be to just end it all there. He grabbed a razor blade from under his sink and tested it against the skin of his left upper arm. The god of death resolved to end it all. Poised to strike at his wrist, Heero's banging and calling at the bathroom door startled Duo and he aborted his plan. Later, Heero and Duo sat on the bed. The short-haired man questioned Duo's motivations for acting. They kissed, but nothing more as Duo had to hide his still fresh self-inflicted injuries.

Duo waited for Heero to sleep, snuck out, and went to the designated meeting place. Guys with guns ambushed him. Gun fight. Heero shows up. Duo takes a couple bullets. They fall in to the river. The bad guys still get them and take them away. Duo wakes up and is at the enemy base on the colony controlled by the enemy – his former employers. He is brought to Heero and they both meet the bad-guy boss, Akai. The boss reveals that he implanted in the two of them devices of subjugation. (electric shock things) Akai shows interest in Duo.

Duo and Heero are allowed to roam around. They go back to Duo's room and get it on. Giggidy. The two fall asleep. Duo wakes up, and is like 'wtf?' because he's in a different place and without Heero. The Akai guy is there, and hits on Duo. Heero and Duo later see each other again before Duo is made unconscious and Heero's memories are wiped and he is dumped back on Earth. Akai later tells Duo that he let Heero go, but if he did not do what he wanted (kill people), then the baddie's people would kill Heero. But Akai doesn't tell Duo about the mind wipe thing.

He starts playing mind games with Duo and slowly starts breaking him down. Akai sends Duo on a mission in a replica of his Death Scythe. On the mission, Duo sees someone that looks like Father Maxwell. Guilt is eating away at him as he questions if his acts as an assassin were right. Unable to deal with the inner struggle (and probably affects of recent blood loss), Duo decides to self-destruct.

He dies – at least for a while. But he's found by Akai's goons and saved… then brought to a mental facility for 'safe keeping and care'. Meanwhile, Heero is struggling to remember what has happened to Duo. Heero had torn a piece of cloth from Akai's shirt (a fancy, unique shirt) and the team analyzed that. But the group all receive reports of Duo's death, and the snatching of his body. They were devastated. But they still worked to figure out what was going on.

Months passed as Duo was kept in the asylum. Akai would visit Duo, torture and rape him… taking much pleasure from it. (duh) In Chapter 19, Duo had a meeting with the in-house shrink (psychiatrist) and rambled on, not noticing that Heero was tucked in a corner with a gun pointed at the woman. Duo passes out from blood loss (he does that a lot) and wakes up, safe and sound, in the hospital with Sally, Heero, and the gang. But he is angry at Heero (wonder why) and mentally unstable. What will happen next?

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**Chapter 21**

-Heero's POV-

All those things Duo said… almost two months of thinking he was dead to find him in that place. "Quatre traced the cloth back to Akai Metsuki, owner of the new Delta-7 colony and obscenely wealthy arms manufacturer. Trowa, Wufei, and I snuck in on a cargo ship." I said with my eyes closed, arms folded, and back against the wall. "Intelligence was limited."

I opened my eyes to look at the people seated around the small conference table. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei were there along with seven other Preventers. Sally isn't back yet from meeting with Duo. I continued the briefing, "The three of us split up so we wouldn't draw attention. Trowa found the base of operations and managed to infiltrate it successfully."

"They've built an army. Hundreds of mobile suits…" Trowa interjected coolly.

The other Preventers' faces contorted. Wufei remained expressionless, and Quatre's eyes worriedly fixed on Trowa. There was a quiet, tense pause before I spoke again.

"I snuck into the base as well. There was no sign of Metsuki. But there were files…" I looked in every room for Duo. His name was still on that door to his room… the room we shared something… something was there, but I could not remember. The memories are still only pieces. If Quatre hadn't found Duo at the asylum…

"Heero…" Quatre called me back from my thoughts.

"There were files that detailed Akai Metsuki's plan to destroy the Earth."

The room was heavy once again.

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-Duo's POV-

"RAAAAAAAAAA…." They're touching me again. Why are they always touching me! "DON'T TOUCH ME, GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"

"Mr. Maxwell, we're only trying to help you! Please let us change the bandages!" One of the young nurses pleaded.

I ripped the IV out of my arm and struggled with them. Two of the nurses to my right I knocked down easy. The nurses sounded an alarm just after I cleared the room. My arm's gushing blood and I feel dizzy. My chest is tearing up. But… I have to get out of here.

"Stop, Duo!" Sally Poe's voice ran after me.

The sound of feet rushing towards me from every direction was making my mind pound even harder. I screamed as I ran and ran. I turned corners and knocked over carts. Anything… to slow them down. Not going back. No more. No more… My chest is wet. I'm not going to make it out this way.

A fire extinguisher caught my eye. By now, I had quite a following behind me. The noise was attracting even more people. The extinguisher's heavy. They're gaining on me. I looked at the window coming up in front of me. I guess this is it then.

I stopped and turned around.

"Stop." I order Sally and the others.

"Duo…" She panted as she cautiously approached. "There's no way you can leave here in your condition. Stop this. We can work through…"

"Shut up… SHUT UP. What do you know?" I'm crying. Why do I have to cry?

Quatre had caught up to the group; his eyes shown fear and worry. "Please stop this, Duo."

"This has to end." My body was shaking.

I backed up away from them slowly.

"I'm the God of Death." I said, smiling through tears. You know what that means Quatre. That's why… I turned and chucked the fire extinguisher through the window. Shattering. I may run and hide…

"DUO DON'T! WE'RE ON THE FIFTH FLOOR!" Sally screamed and they all ran forward to catch me.

But I'm gone. Running. The way out just within my grasp. Final escape. I laughed a little. I will not live a lie… I leapt forward.

The world outside is bright.

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**Koiame**: And that's all for now folks. Sorry for taking almost 5 years to update! Time sure passes and many things happen. I hope this update has made you happy and cleared anything up with the recap. Please read and review as always! Arigatou! :3


	22. Chapter 22

**Koiame**: Really sorry that I've made all of you wait so long. Again I apologize. For a long time, I just could not read or write Duo/Heero because my heart was just not in it. I hope that these new chapters prove to be even better quality than the ones from years past. And I will try harder to update consistently for you guys. Thank you and enjoy.

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**Chapter 22**

**-Duo's POV-**

A shadow's following me. Consuming me. Is it going to eat me? Holding tight. I heard a grunt of pain as an arm caught me like a hook. Eyes opened, his face was above mine. With one hand grasping the broken window frame; there was Heero Yuy. People were at the window trying to pull us up by his arm. I struggled. "Let go!" My legs kicked wildly and my hands tried to pry me free from his arm. I couldn't let death escape when it was so close!

Eyes on fire, Heero growled. "Stay still Duo." The force and danger of his voice paralyzed me. His gaze froze my insides. I wanted to cry. It wasn't fair. How could he do this to me? The care in his voice was unforgivable!

We were rising. And back through the window we went. Heero tossed me on the floor. '_That's right…_' The feeling refused to be defined. I could feel the eyes on me. Violation. My bare ass was up in the air; the gown providing no modesty. Quatre's arms lifted me up.

"Duo…" The soft-voiced blond tried to look me in the eyes.

It was _some_ freak-show. Nurses, soldiers, and a mostly naked mental patient all meeting in the hall… '_Merry fucking Christmas… sorry Sister Catherine._' I kind of smiled and then wondered what the date was.

"Heero, let me treat that." Sally took my rescuer's hand.

I glanced over carefully. His hand was cut up and bleeding badly. Small pieces of glass were dug into deeper wounds. And I know my eyes should have stayed there. They shouldn't have wandered over the contours of his tight black pants… My eyes should have laid low. But instead, they remembered what was beneath those clothes.

"Leave it." Heero's voice rumbled at Sally as his piercing eyes locked onto mine. I was afraid. SO afraid of this Heero. The one that hated me. The one that abandoned me. The one that was surely going to kill me now. He broke free of Sally's grasp and came upon Quatre and I. His right hand was like a vice grip when he pulled me by the arm from the blond.

"I'll take care of this." My former lover said sinisterly.

'I _am going to die. No, I'm gonna fucking die horribly._'

Heero dragged me through the crowd, disregarding protests. '_Where are we going?_' I looked over at his bleeding hand. Drops of blood were casually falling on the floor, making a trail behind us. I noticed the front of my gown more as my arousal grew.

'_Is that… turning me on? Shit. Why God? What did I ever d… oh yeah._'

"Heero." I almost squeaked.

He didn't acknowledge me. I got up the courage to struggle again. This time he glared at me, opened a near-by door, and hurdled me inside. '_I'm noticing a trend here._'

"Ahhhck!" I yelped pathetically as my back hit something hard. A table maybe? The door slammed and locked. My eyes squinted as my head reeled. '_It's dark. Where did Heero bring me?_' I staggered to my feet. Heero's fist connected with my right cheek. He was serious. I caught my footing and looked back at him. His brown hair… His dark eyes… I hate them for reminding me. I wound up the best right hook I could manage and swung back at him. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" was my battle cry. He side-stepped and punched me in the gut. '_This… seems oddly familiar._' I gasped and dropped down to my knees again before he pushed me on my back. '_This is the part where I get fucked senseless._' I waited with twisted anticipation. But nothing came. My wrists were free. These scrawny legs of mine weren't parted. '_No… why _would_ Heero touch me? I mean nothing to him._'

"We didn't spend a month and a half looking for you just so you can kill yourself." Heero spoke icily.

"Yeah…" I laughed sarcastically. '_It was fucking paradise for me. The daily rape was my favorite part. And the treatments… and the gourmet meals and fucking tea parties._' I looked up at his stoic face and grinned. "The great Heero Yuy… Mr. Ice-man… The _hero_ of the colonies… What an honor to be abused by you!" The smirk on my face did not amuse him. I barely knew what I was saying anymore. The pain was nothing. It didn't hurt, but my head was swimming.

"Tell me what happened." He commanded.

'_Tell him what happened?_' I sat up lazily. "What the fuck to do you think happened?" My yell echoed through the bare conference room. "You just _left_ me there to be the fucker's fuck toy! What the fuck do you _think_ happened?" Heero looked surprised. '_Perhaps I used too many 'fucks'?_' I laughed to myself. But he wanted to play this game… so let's play.

"I know about _Relina_. Why did you even pretend with me? You're just like _him_." Tears were falling. Why were they falling? '_Fucking traitors, you hear me? Mother fucking traitor tears._'

Confusion tried to hide behind Heero's eyes. Awkward minutes passed. It was quiet. The dry blood on my arm started to itch, but I didn't scratch. I didn't even wipe those stupid tears. My hair was undone. For how long, I wondered. When had my braid been lost? The awkward strands brushed at my face. With it down, the memories came back of being an orphan. My hair back then was always dirty. I would steal every day to survive. Apples… bread… or whatever I needed to live I could get with my hands. But lately surviving meant tainted red hands and a bloodied braid.

"I'm sorry." That's what I could swear my ears heard. It was an unsettling sound. Unwanted. Obscenely violent inside.

'_What?_' The perfect soldier was _apologizing_… to _me_? It was vile. '_Don't apologize! Don't _**you**_ apologize!_'

Heero looked me in the eyes. "I don't remember anything."

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**Koiame**: Yay, so that was another chapter. Pretty long, right? I hope you enjoyed. I'm going to do my best to bring another chapter to you all soon. Thank you for reading. **Please review** and let me know how I'm doing and if there is anything that needs to be cleared up. You can also vote for your favorite one of my fics by going to my profile. Yeah, I realize you'd probably have to be really bored. Just putting it out there. Anyways, until next time… enjoy.


	23. Chapter 23

**Koiame**: This story's first 19 chapters are so old I have them on floppy. Scary, huh? I also wrote them when I was 14. My, how the world has changed. ;D Thank you for the reviews! Please keep them up. It makes me more inclined to be happy and write. ^.^

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**Chapter 23**

**- Duo's POV –**

I looked at him incredulously. This Heero before me… doesn't _know_? I don't know what would be the worse scenario; Heero forsaking me or Heero remembering nothing about what we did? Either way, looking into Heero's eyes and seeing a hole where the memories of _us_ should have been made the point mute. It was all gone.

My head fell limp against my chest. '_What should I say?_' I unconsciously picked at the scabs on my left arm as my hand shook.

"Duo." Heero's dark eyes sunk to my level as he knelt before me. "Tell me everything."

'_What did he want to know? It's not like I could say, "Well, Heero, we fucked like bunnies and then you were gone."_' I cursed my luck. He was waiting for a reply. His breaths caressed my bare arms with his proximity.

"Duo… We need to know for the investigation."

It hurt. My heart felt stabbed. So, he was only asking for that reason? But I guess what other reason would he have? The tears were leaking from my eyes. I couldn't look at him. "Just go away." I pleaded. Not my strongest, most proud moment, but those seemed to be the moments coming along for me.

He suddenly grabbed my right hand and gave a stern, "No." My eyes darted at his for a quick moment and then slid down to confirm that Heero Yuy was indeed clutching my hand. Beaded blood puckered where my scabs were ripped off. Now that I think about it, they were the same ones from the bathroom floor with Heero at my apartment that I've kept reopening and picking and picking at and…

"Duo!" My obsessive thinking halted at the sound. "What happened to you?"

"I…" How can I tell him? "I died… a lot." Well, that was stupid Duo. Good going! "Well, I guess only once really, but more metaphorically speaking." My words trailed off. This was going nowhere.

"I know what Metsuki did to you at the facility." Came all the grace of Heero Yuy.

I laughed a little, though I don't know what I was laughing at. "Oh, _that_." I said airily.

The perfect soldier kept quiet. It was an interrogation, I knew that much. Let the prisoner keep talking through the uncomfortable silence. '_Geeze, he never stops._' A bitter taste tickled the back of my mouth.

"Do you really want to know what happened to me, Heero Yuy?" I smirked as I raised my hooded eyes to look him in the face. He didn't reply. My hand wriggled away from under his and slowly clutched the fabric at the center of his shirt. Without a word or warning, I yanked him forward and stole the most dangerous kiss in the history of mankind. He was stunned. I couldn't repress a self-satisfied, gleeful smile as I pulled away.

"You forgot me." My smirk became a glare as I released him from my grasp. "And for that, you're _worse_ than him."

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**Koiame:** I hope you enjoyed this chapter! **Reviews please** so I know that people would like me to continue updating – or not? Thank you to those who have read and reviewed! Until next time…


	24. Chapter 24

**Koiame**: Thank you all for your patience. Found this chapter on my old computer. Here it is. Hope you enjoy.

**Chapter 24**

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**- Heero's POV –**

'_What the hell?_' I looked him up and down as he pulled away. '_Did he just kiss me?_'

"You forgot me. And for that, you're _worse_ than him." Duo's glare tried to pierce through me.

'_I forgot him?_' His eyes and cheeks were soaked wet. '_Duo..._'

The feelings, the kiss, were so familiar. '_What is it? What happened? Did we…_' There was one way to find out. My hands reached out and held Duo's head. His chestnut hair cascaded down my arms; soft and familiar. His eyes were round in surprise, lips slightly parted from breathing and yelling at me, and lashes heavy with tears. As I approached, indecision was written across Duo's face. I was going to get a kiss or get hit. Either option was acceptable.

"Heero." His voice was in distress.

The kiss ended his protest. '_Duo._' I closed my eyes as I wondered what more I was missing. The touch of his skin was nostalgic… and his _scent_. Passion rippled down his spine. '_How did this happen?_' I wondered as our tongues met. Heart pounding, I knew where this was going. I knew what I wanted. My hands undid the tie that held his hospital gown closed in the back. The bare skin of his back was scared in places, but mostly soft and smooth. I looked Duo in the eyes as I paused before undressing him. They were full of confusion and pain.

"Duo?" I asked. His cobalt blue eyes were afraid of me. "I'm sorry." My hands retied his gown and drew back to rest at my sides.

"A… Asshole!" He punched my face half-heartedly. Duo's plan seemed to end there. The brown-haired assassin was still there. Resolve flowed through my veins.

"I will remember, one day." My jaw was sore as I spoke. "By then, Metsuki will be dead."

"Why? Why are you…" Duo wept uncontrollably and grabbed his head. Time passed as I watched him cry; heart tugging in my chest.

"I failed you, Duo." An apology would not be enough. I clenched to door handle to let the other in. The site of Duo, broken down and weeping, was too much to take. My back to him, an inaudible sigh escaped my lips. Before I let it open, I took in that awful moment; let it burn into my mind. To Duo, and to myself, I promised.

"I won't fail you again."

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**Koiame:** I know it's a bit short, but it's all I can manage at the moment. Not sure if anyone is still into this story. If you are, hope you liked this chapter and thank you for reading! Until next time then…


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